- some skeletons are best kept in the closet -

what an eventful valentines day

2009-02-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

i was in the church all day. hmm, well, half of it.. 'tas andaming kwento ng mga churchmates ko, lalo na si joel, promise! nakakaaliw nga kasi parehas kaming lonely ngayong valentines (lololool) so nagkwentuhan nalang kami. ang asa kaya nung isang kwento nya. may nakita syang babae sa jeep at talaga daw tinamaan sya! hahahahahahahaha. napakapwnage kasi naattract daw sya dun sa mata. weee. di lang daw nya natanong yung pangalan.. haaay. eh papano na si daanni-- ay este, hahahaha! :)) npumunta nalang kami sa condo ni ate karen, and we found ourselves in a very strange situation (all of us dun sa condo) when a certain someone called. next time ko nalang i-elaborate kasi magfifive na ng umaga at nanonood pa ako ng catch me if you can ni leonardo. weeeeeeee. hay nako. XD

The random people, Madel, and a few strands of hello and goodbye.

2009-02-13T17:52:00.000+08:00

The random people.
I've got something to say, I think.
There has been pressures between people (whoever comes in your mind comes in your mind) a few weeks ago and it still continues now.
I hope to get through with it soon.
It's so annoying to find people annoying without telling them that they're annoying because they'd go on an annoying crying spree with a lot of annoying you don't know me that often leads into pitiful, annoying backstabbings and misunderstandings.
I tell you, it's pretty hard to be someone like me, quietly hoping for them to realize what in the world is their problem and get on with it. Suckers for war, I tell you. Tch.

Madel.
We will meet again, fellow retard. Hold on to it.
God will make a way. Thank you so much for everything.
For all the times we've shared. It has been a fruitful two years with you.
It's a sucker for me to miss a year not feeling close to you at all.
But the two years were enough to compensate, don't you think?
Much more karate power, gambatte ne. ;)

Because I want to update and this is what my mind allowed to bring here in my journal. XD

2009-02-06T19:09:00.000+08:00

(Yung mga blanko smiley yun ah. Ewan ko dyan kung anong smiley yan. Pero aliw lang ako dito sa conversation namin ni Geneca nung isang araw. Random lang nga pala ito ah. XD)

Geneca Odtohan: cute nung pic mo....

Nhix: LOL.

Nhix:

Geneca Odtohan: and i'm trapped in the underground just trapped in the underground...

Geneca Odtohan:

Nhix: ahahah adik

Nhix:

Geneca Odtohan: tagal na!!!

Geneca Odtohan: pag naging drug lord ako abangan mo ha?

Nhix: sige.

Nhix: ako criminal mastermind na nun.

Geneca Odtohan: ayoko

Geneca Odtohan: gusto ko ako boss!!!

Geneca Odtohan: ayoko sau noh!!!

Nhix: well sorry ka nalang.

Nhix: this is a mafia world.

Geneca Odtohan: sira ka eh!!!

Geneca Odtohan: ako rin!!

Geneca Odtohan:

Nhix: and you couldn't ask the world to change it for you.

Nhix: because i'm MUCH more powerful that you could ever be.

Nhix: remember that.

Nhix:

Nhix: *than

Geneca Odtohan: mag-tatayo ako ng sarili ko ng mafia!!

Nhix: ako may nakatayo na. ;D

Geneca Odtohan: utot mo!!!

Nhix: susugurin kita, tae ka.

Nhix:

Geneca Odtohan: cge lang subukan mo!!!

Nhix: sige ha.

Nhix: bukas.

Nhix: beware.

Geneca Odtohan: p****g ina ka ha!!!

Geneca Odtohan: piging

Geneca Odtohan:

Nhix: huwat?

Nhix: you big 128479837482.

Geneca Odtohan: yu know salu-salo?

Geneca Odtohan: piging!

Nhix: i know halo-halo.

Geneca Odtohan: sira hindi!!!

Nhix: and kamukha mo yung ube dun.

Nhix: MUKHANG TAE

Geneca Odtohan: fiesta!!!

Nhix: hahahahahaha

Geneca Odtohan: talaga!!!

Geneca Odtohan:

Nhix: AMOY TAE PA

Nhix:

Nhix: yeeeeeeeeeeeees.

Geneca Odtohan: sira di naman!!!!!!

Nhix: sige, makipagkulitan ka pa sakin.

Geneca Odtohan: sige

Nhix: hindi mo pa ako nararanasan maghasik ng lagim.

Geneca Odtohan: sige

Nhix: hindi ako mabilis sumuko tulad ng mga lalaki mo na sina shawn..

Geneca Odtohan: di pa kita naamoy umutot eh!!!

Nhix: tobee.. at michael.

Nhix: pinagbibigyan ka nila kasi mahal ka nila.

Nhix: saka syempre, sira ulo ka kasi.

Nhix: alam mo, ang utot ko, pabango sayo!

Geneca Odtohan: TAE KA TALAGA!!!SIRA ULO!!!!

Nhix: HAHAHAHAHHAA.

Nhix: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Nhix: *evil laugh*

Nhix: i feel so evil. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Nhix:

Geneca Odtohan: *curses*

Nhix: *HAHAHAHAH*

Geneca Odtohan: *curses*

Nhix: ako hindi nagmumura.

Nhix: kasi ako mabait.

Nhix: ikaw hindi.

Nhix: HAHAHA, sorry nalang.

Geneca Odtohan: ay ambot sa imo!!!!

Geneca Odtohan:

depressedepressedepressed.

2009-01-20T16:54:00.000+08:00

I fail, absolutely.

There was this manga, and I actually am starting to fall in love with it so much it hurts.

The girl didn't end up with the boy I liked for her and she ended up with another!

It's just.. so.. so painful. I felt like I was betrayed; I don't know.

It's probably because the guy I liked so much for the girl didn't end up with her, and throughout the story the mangaka were hinting that they would be together, then SUDDENLY that.. that dreaded ending happened. ARGH. I cannot take this anymore. :( it hurts.

I even wasted my poor three hours for that particular manga and this is what I get?!
It was like courting someone and then rejected at some point where one would almost be accepted! (strange example, but i guess you can cope with me) xC

I wanna kill somebody now.

(~~killkillkillkillkillkill--)

Give me that cockroach, I'll put my hurt feelings to him and torture him.. or maybe not, the poor creature.. not knowing anything.

(chichichichichichi---)

Well, probably, give me a chair.. I need to do something.. IT'S TOO PAINFUL.

..

...

....

*weak voice*
help.

You give me a loud hurray for a random update.

2009-01-15T15:22:00.000+08:00

I was about to give myself a round of applause for my intense desire to do my homework when suddenly, I stumbled upon dA and found this very adorable smiley.

Ang KYOT DIBA?

Hahaha, yun lang. Just wasting your time. XD

Nix!Survey.

2009-01-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

1.

-

-

1. What do you think of the most when
you are alone?
- the things me and my classmates call pacework.

2. When it is a rainy night, what do you do most of the time?
- wondering why in the world do i feel happy when the sky is literally crying.

3. If you’ll go on a date, what would you like to do?
- i'd like a piggy back ride. :)

4. What do you do when you see a full
moon?
- getting amazed at how God created it.

5. Would you rather swim in the lake or
dive in the ocean?
- DIVE IN THE OCEAN. because my middle name's wild.

6. What would be the best partner of a
good cup of coffee?
- rensou no aria manga. ;)

7. If you’ll ask yourself a question now, what would it be?
- WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?!~

8. If certain things in your life will fall apart, what will you do?
- realize that life must go on.

9. What was the hardest decision you
made in your life so far?
- letting go of you. ;)

10. When your friends forget you, what
will you do?
- make them remember you again.

2.

-

-

1. I’ve come to realize that…
- there are some things best left unsaid.

2. I am listening to…
- Breaking Benjamin's You. Beautiful.

3. Maybe I should…
- become the person I want to be. :)

4. I love…
- your being with all of my heart.

5. The best day of my life was…
- when i came to the world to grow with all of you.

6. I don’t understand…
- what in the iskaderder is my stomach's problem.

7. I’ve lost…
- something significant.

8. People say…
- they'd rather eat than study. XD

9. The meaning of my screen name is…
- you couldn't hurt me because i am stronger than you. LOOOL.

10. Love…
- is to let go.

11. Somewhere, someone is…
- thinking that they do not want to go to school tomorrow.

12. I will always…
- protect you, no matter what. ;)

13. Forever seems..
- a long time.

14. I never hated to…
- hold my computer in my arms.
(errrrr)

15. My mobile phone is/are…
- dead already.

16. I believe…
- the stars are brightly shining tomorrow.

17. I get annoyed when…
- i don't want to sleep yet they make me sleep.

18. I am better…
- off with you. WEE.

19. I fear that…
- such pain is not for you.

20. Kisses are the best when…
- they are..ENGLISH?
HAHAHAHAHAHA. (gets nyo ba joke ko? *coughFRENCHcough*)

21. Today I…
- WANT TO BECOME THE WIND.

22. Tonight I will…
- do my workloads.

23. Tomorrow I will…
- let you see how much you've missed. XD

24. I really want to…
- LOLOL right now.

From Joshua. ;) nakang wala joshua ka na dong. =D

Nix!RandomPictures

2009-01-11T14:56:00.000+08:00

I was searching randomly in the unopened folders of my picture albums, only to find this strange pictures that kept me laughing for a few minutes. XD

I never knew I was that dumb looking back then. This was even taken just two years ago.
I think I'm still this dumb looking until now though. :)) Ruth seemed cuter there than she is now. Errr... *looks around for Ruth* Oh, she isn't here. That's good. XD And I still remember that cap I lost in Iloilo.. so sad.

Your aspiring pianist. I've got my fingers into iskaderder direction, eh. I saw one picture that seemed like I was giving everyone the finger, but it seemed offending so I decided to put this up instead. XD

This.. this picture looked awesome. LOL. I definitely looked like a cameraman with strange vibes. I was like trying to find a way to abduct the actress in my soap opera show.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
AHAHA.
AHAHAHAHAHA.
LOL the what worthy.
That's all I could say.

Found myself REALLY CUTE here (talk about immense ego nakedness) and weird. Nakakatawa kasi synchonized kami ni JR nyan, pero promise, di kami nagusap! :D Hahaha.
And to you, who is plotting, hindi mo ako maaasar dyan. May AHEM na yan sa buhay nya. :D

Undivided

2009-01-09T13:55:00.004+08:00

Amidst the dog barking, the trouble of having speakers instead of earphones for recording, the airplane flying, and the tricycle sounding from afar, a bored girl like me came up with this. All the voices are mine.. most probably LOL. And there are parts not synchronized together because I left it unedited for the sake of personal experience. XD

Undivided

2009-01-09T13:55:00.003+08:00

Undivided

2009-01-09T13:55:00.002+08:00

Undivided

2009-01-09T13:55:00.001+08:00

Undivided

2009-01-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

Madel. :)

2009-01-09T12:51:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's time for me to do something about Madel going to the blah blah world without us by her side.

Sarah is the mastermind of this, and I know she means well so I think I'd love to do something like what she did too.

Hmm.

I'm not good at this, but sadly, there's no other way to write this, so I'll stick with my style. XD

I just wanted to say thank you to Madel. Wherever your hair goes and if ever your star pops, remember that we're always with you.

Through the thick (jayne) and thin (me, the daddah) and thick again (sarah) and maniac (zhane) and princess-soon-to-be-queen (ruth), our hearts would forever be connected. High school friends stick together till the end of time, right?

This girl, or rather, this LAPADIDAM KARATE LOLOL POP STAR (pumutok na star) shared a lot of memories with us that I'm sure will never be forgotten. You stay connected with us even though you're already in Canada, where the handsome people are not Kuya Josh anymore but someone like Brad Pitt now, okay? I'll be online in the darkest of times. Midnight here, morning there.

Two years existing in my life is more than enough to practically become one of the greatest friends that ever lived in the history of this vile, wicked, and LOL world. It may be exaggeration to some (..well, I am actually exaggerating) but I think it's the only way to describe what trust and friendship I've put into you. :D

Thank you very much dude, for all.. to the laughing matters to the saddest moments, you were there. We hope to meet you anytime soon! It may be in our country, or it may be there where you will arrive on a new life, new friends, new house, new boyfriends, new LOLs, and new daddahs, but we will see each other soon! And I know it deep in my heart.

The next time we see though I promise you, I would try to gain weight. :D

I don't say mushy stuff, but you know I always get my message across through the laughs and everything.

I heart the most of your being, Madel. We keep in touch. ;)

P.S.
Andito pa nga pala sya, so we don't count the passing days..
We make the passing days count. :)

Particle Cannons, Nuclear Missiles, Scud Storms, and the game you call Generals.

2009-01-09T12:26:00.000+08:00

Particle Cannons, Nuclear Missiles, Scud Storms, and the game you call Generals.

Ayun, yan lang ang nasa isip ko.

Minsan naman,

Castlevania, Kingdom Hearts, and .hack//g.u.

Ano ba naman yan, LOL the what worthy talaga eh, ano?

I for teh lulz.

Haha. I wanted my brain to be filled with the vibrant letters of P-A-C-E-W-O-R-K, but all ever appear is letter P, pagkatapos nun yun na yun. Wala nang kasunod. Haaay.

Random update lang ito because I felt the need to write for whatever.

Dumating din sa aking kaisipan na..

My days in JFA is starting its countdown as I realize..

Graduating ako next year.

So ibig sabihin..

..

...

....

Matanda na talaga ako.

Your First Name of: Nicole

2009-01-05T15:33:00.000+08:00

Your First Name of: Nicole

The name of Nicole has created a congenial nature with the desire to associate in friendship and understanding both socially and in the business world. (
Peaceful and settled conditions appeal to you and you are naturally desirous of having the security of a home, where your life could follow a definite pattern, and where you would not have to make major decisions.
You find it difficult to take a definite stand, partly because you lack confidence, and also because you dislike any issues which create dissension between people.
Procrastination is a weakness of your nature, causing an inability always to complete your plans or to concentrate for long.
Although the name Nicole creates the urge to understand others, we emphasize that it limits your vision, tuning you to technical details.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid and elimination system.

Weee. Maxelle found this I think, and I got it from her blog. You finds it here.

Achievements ni Nhix ngayong 2008

2008-12-31T13:29:00.000+08:00

Dahil ako ay bored, mag-aano ako..

Ano nga ba yun?

Ayun, I will enumerate the things I've achieved this year 2008.

Sana lang walang lumabas na negative dito.

--

Number one: I played Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII and finished it in three days. Kasabay ko ang pinsan kong si Kuya 'Rome dito. (He finished with flying colors, I finished with drowning black and white [marami syang items na nakuha, ako onti lang..] )

Number two: I happen to get ten crushes sa isang padyakan lang! O diba? Kaya nyo yun? And the fact that they aren't anime people is a really good achievement!

Number three: Second place in poetry writing, nung Palawan NSC. I felt the need to put this because I am not really sure why I won at all. All I know is that it is God's way of telling me that I am, AM really blessed.

Number four: I got my room filled with anime posters. I tell you duders, if you see my room, you couldn't even see anything not anime. Well, except perhaps the hygiene things you use for everyday.

Number five: Got friends that would really support me. Lahat kayo mababait, and I am really glad to have gotten you with me in this lifetime!

Number six: Nakapagsuot ako ng jumper, for the first time in seven years! O diba? Kaya ba ng powers nyo yun!

Number seven: Scripture video first place. I was really disappointed when the continuous first places were broken by our team last year, which I blame myself for not being able to completely edit the video. But the fact that we got our throne back, and was even given a chance for a command performance, is enough reward.

Number eight: The second and third quarters of this year was the strongest in my writing career in the whole of my lifetime. It ended quite stupidly on the fourth, probably because of reading manga. (I stopped reading fanfiction when I got hooked into reading manga)

Number nine: The first and last picture with my crush of two years was taken. I feel so happy. I think it's the first and the last time I'd be ever to be with him in a picture with just the two of us.

Number ten: Active in multiply I was. :) Gradually engaged myself into doing layouts, which is really a good thing.

Number eleven: I improved in playing the piano. Kuya emanstur (XD), if you're reading this (if you ever will LOL), I thank you so much for all the patience in teaching me whenever we practice in the worship team. I r salute your greatness from the very core of my heart! :)

Number twelve: Defeated Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts II. It was really a feat, battling that one LOL of an black-one-winged-angel! I strive to defeat the strongest bosses on each game, so having him down is one of my greatest achievements in life! Also reached level 99 and completed all of Jiminy's journal except that.. that underworld extreme were the Titan Cup and Goddess of Fate never appeared! It was bloody to get 1300 points in the Cerberus Cup, and I was really, REALLY enraged to find out it will never come out because of my victory against Sephiroth. (Cloud is one of the bosses in the Cup, so because I've defeated Sephiroth and they have gone together, Cloud will never come back for the Cup. ARGH, it is so stupid..)

Number thirteen: Finished the whole three volumes of .hack//g.u. Jayne has a friend who let us borrow the the first two volumes, because I was actually poor that time, and could not even buy two DVD cds. XD I finished it with flying colors as well!

Number fourteen: The forest of pain event I finished, in the volume three of .hack//g.u. redemption. STUPID 100 FLOORS AND all I get is one nabad of a weak Cernunnos! Argh. I even had so much Elven Rain in me, but not even one was used. X( Mas malakas pa para sakin si Ovan nung Reminisce e! Ilang patay ako dun, 15 times? XDD

Number fifteen: Watched .hack//trilogy and fell in love with it. That's an achievement! :)

Number sixteen: Got to know you, who's reading right now. WEEE.

Number seventeen: MAY BAGONG SPEAKERS NA ANG NENENG NYO ABA. Mas maganda na sya kaysa dati!

Number eighteen: MAY BAGONG CPU NA ANG LOLA NYONG BATA PA.

Number nineteen: MAY BAGONG ..... mga t-shirt ako salamat sa mga nagbigay nung pasko. At least di na masyadong pauli-ulit ang mga susuotin ko. Wee.

Number twenty: Nakapasok na ako ng Marikina Sports! At long last.

--

There are many other things as well. :) Pero kailangan ko nang maligo at feeling ko kasi iskaderder na ako ngayon e.

Gahahaha. :))

Nix!RandomPost II

2008-12-31T12:55:00.000+08:00

Dun dun dun dun weee.

I am a random updater how updates out of nowhere without actually telling anybody the real purpose of updating.

(Don't talk about my redundancy, okay? XDD)

Pasukan na, at wala pa akong nagagawang assignment.

Hahaha, no matter how angle I look at it, I really am pathetic.

*_*

Nyay, that's not an emo statement, but a fact.

Changing the subject:

I so love Skillet now and their songs, probably because they create such an impact on me, and I really love how each one sounded. XD

Changing the subject # 2:

Have you noticed by the way?

Ang aking multiply site ay puno na naman ng mukha ni Sasuke.

I missed that .. that traitor, kahit na gano na sya ka-iskaderder lapadidam nabad ngayon. XD

Nako naman..

Changing the subject # 3:

This is another random post by the way, I'm not actually sure why I'm bothering to do these kinds of things, but you put up with me, eh? :)

Changing the subject # 4:

New year na pala.

A lapadidam new year, everyone. Hope that your nabad fingers and toes stay intact.

Bwehahaha.

_____________________________________________________________________________

P.S.
Masarap ang kitkat, kaya kung nag-iisip kayo na bigyan ako nun, pwede.
Gahahaha. Kung lang naman.

_____________________________________________________________________________

P.P.S.
I watched the second special of the live action Detective Conan today, and I am actually starting to like Oguri Shun. His voice is so deep and the cool posture of Shinichi.. bagay talaga sa kanya. *sighs dreamily* Okay, I'll shut up now.

_____________________________________________________________________________

P.P.P.S.
Bakit kaya aliw na aliw kayong lahat sa language ko? Talaga bang strange pakinggan?

Nix!RandomPost

2008-12-30T15:32:00.000+08:00

Two statements to remember.

Never join a Krispy Kreme doughnut with Starbucks' Java Chip.
Seriously.

I almost went insane because of migraine.

HAHAHAHA. XD

I rant, since this is my blog.

2008-12-27T04:31:00.000+08:00

Okay. I saw something that really agitated me. Probably because I'm the type of writer who values the freedom of speech.

Seriously.

Before you go on reading this entry, let me tell you one thing: I would disregard any constructive criticism concerning my english. I write for two reasons only, because I felt hurt and that this is my blog, therefore whatever the iskaderder I write in here is none of your business. I think my way of writing is enough to get my message across; if you couldn't, it's your problem, not mine. This is even contacts only, so I will not limit my boundaries. You have been forewarned.

I need to make things clear. I saw something on one of the blogs of my friend, though I think she never knew I viewed it. Someone's criticizing the way she wrote, (it's even in her territory!) apparently when that someone is not exactly that great of a writer as well. I would like to remind people that somehow, if your constructive criticism is on a review, it is to be respected because people are supposed to value the opinion of others. And if the writer asked for the criticism, I think he/she would hope that it should be delivered nicely, with a few hundred words, and that it indicates why the critique insists upon his/her opinion. If you'd just go on some people's blog telling them that you didn't want the way they write, could you just back the iskaderder off? It is one's personal blog, for the sake of argh! If you're not being asked, don't slander one's heart by telling the words that only stated your opinion!

If you're asking why in the world am I so affected about this, it is because I usually write the way she writes as well. It frustrates me so much that people tend to insult in the form of criticism, but I guess that's how the world goes. I may not be a good writer, but I know how to get things done. I'm sorry if someone gets offended with the way I write, but this is my territory, so therefore go blog your opinions on your own journal.

Thank you very much for reading,
and I hope it gets to you.

P.S.
Tamaan na kayo kung tamaan. Pero wag mag-alala ang mga close ko, imposible na kayo ito. Weeeeeeee. :)) This is called ranting by the way. I usually don't do this, but Jayne gets to me sometimes. Nyek, and it's not an insult, dude. Ranting makes me smile, because of the fulfillment it brings afterwards. XD

Nix!RandomSurvey

2008-12-26T09:33:00.000+08:00

--

Napadpad ako sa blog ni MJ, at ito ang una kong nakita. Nakita daw nya ito sa mga blog nina Jayne at Marla. Weee.

Ako rin pasagot ah. Ang tagal magdownload ng Adobe Reader ko e.

--

stayed single almost the whole year?
.. yeap. :)

done something you've regretted?
.. done something I've regretted. T.T

lost someone?
.. i think i did.

cut class?
.. not the kind of person. :D wee.

were involved in something you'll never forget?
.. ngayon dude. patapos na ang taon pero meron parin!

visited a different country?
.. yeap, indonesia. :) i remember the experience again..

cooked a gross meal?
.. NAKO NAKO. you wouldn't even see me five steps away from the stove.

lost something important to you?
.. yeap.

got a gift you adore?
.. yeap, too many to enumerate.

dyed your hair?
.. oo no. BLUE pa. weee.

came close to losing your life?
.. losing my life? ahem. love naisip ko. weee. pero kung realistically, wala pa naman. :)

went to a party?
.. i think i did.

read a great book?
.. weeee. reread eragon. a REALLY fun book, much better than the movie.

saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
.. ay hindi pa. CASTING CROWNS.. weee.

2008: Friends and Enemies
did you meet any new friends this year?
.. yeap, i did. :)

did you dislike anyone?
.. who doesn't?

did you grow apart from anyone?
.. i think so as well.

do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
.. no. after all, even if something called betrayal burnt the friendship to the ground, there were still fun memories together. XD diba? diba? :)

2008: Your BIRTHDAY!
did you have a cake?
.. yeap, thank you jemjem and steven. :) SMORES PA YUN NG RED RIBBON OMG.

did you have a party?
.. meron, maliit lang. as in super. nanlibre lang ako sa yoshinoya.

2008: All about YOU
did you change at all this year?
.. yeap. i think i did. no.. I REALLY DID! weeee.

did you change your style?
.. hairstyle? oo naman. hahaha.

were you in school?
.. alanganamang hindi. weeee.

did you get good grades?
.. next question please.

did you drive?
.. hindi pa. gusto ko na nga e. nfs lol.

did you own a car?
.. nooo.

did anyone close to you give birth?
.. yeap. :)

did you move at all?
.. ay hindi pa. di ko nga alam kung magmomove pa ako evah.

did you go on any vacations?
.. yeap. :)

would you change anything about yourself now?
.. yeap. XD

2008 WRAP UP:
was 2008 a good year?
.. yeap, full of God's blessings!

do you think 2009 will be better then 2008?
.. hopefully, hopefully.

I confess that in 2008 I...
(x) stayed single for the whole year (haha, ba't ka proud, mj? maraming temptations? weeee.)
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) had your heart broken (weee.)
( ) mooned someone
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) came out of the closet
( ) had an abortion (anong klaseng tanong ito! hahaha)
(x) done something you've regretted

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch (isang malaking patay X.X ikaw magiging pag nakita mo mga presyo dyan)
( ) posted a blog on MySpace
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people (oo, pakapalan na ito ng mukha. nauna naman sya e. bwahaha.)
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
(x) partied to celebrate the new year (small, small.. and with my special person. weeeee.)
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lied about how old you were (meron isang insidente..)
(x) prank called someone

In 2008 I...
[x] broke a promise
[x] told a little white lie
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[x] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[x] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing (tulad nalang ng ginagawa ko ngayong break. =)))
[x] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[ ] almost died
[x] given up on something/someone important to you
[x] lost something expensive (T.T)
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it (i loooved it. XD oi baka kung anong isipin nyo ah. umangkas sa isang motorsiklo! masarap! XD)
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise

[x] cried over the silliest thing (ayaw kasi umuwi pa ng nanay ko, kaya nagalit ako hahaha [and in fairness, hindi lang umiyak, nagwala ako hahaha])
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[ ] had a high cell phone bill (di ko problema yan XD)
[x] spent most of your money on food(WEEE)
[x] had a fist fight (with the JFA 4th floor CR wall, yes. XD may fist ba yun? weeee)
[ ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
[x] gotten sick
[x] liked more than 5 people at the same time(GAHAHA. hanggang ngayon)
[x] became closer with a lot of people

Resolves

2008-12-19T17:10:00.000+08:00

Resolves -- I will tell him as I say my farewell, that I waited for him faithfully, and that I'm hurt as I walk away from him right now, because after all, no matter how painful love is, I wish I shouldn't have let him go.

-

-

There are things unexplained, that makes the bitter portion of my sanity resurface.

Creating a powerful sense of isolation, it limits the capabilities I could say regardless of the consequences.

As I look at him right now, I feel life slowly slipping away from me.

"You know that I waited for you, right?"

With nervousness I question, ultimately shattering the holding back that once prevented the words.

"I never asked you to wait for me."

His response was full of nonchalance. Yes, but I saw the anger and hurt fast coming in his eyes, which he masked with his indifference. "It was your stupidity to bring yourself into such state."

"I know," I say quietly, "it was my stupidity to have ever loved somebody like you."

In finality, I clench my fist for courage, silently praying and hoping and wondering whatever emotion I would get upon telling the words I've always wanted to utter.

"I want to say farewell to my feelings."

His eyes turned bitter; sour as it was though, there was never a word said in the defeated sunny atmosphere.

I suppress my want to suddenly cry, thinking that tears would delay me another time. I interrupt the deafening silence powerless and under no control. "Help me do it, please."

He turns away (always) and finally says, "There is never a thing that I can do for you."

Blinking unwantedly, the heartfelt statement brought hope into my depressed being, and I was unable to comprehend if this was his way of protecting me from himself, or himself from me.

"Is that supposed to matter?" I regain energy in small waves, as I remember myself dripping free of strength before this moment of truth even started. "But I guess this is what you really are."

(to be continued. save ko dito muna sa multiply for continuation and grammar editing. hahaha, nawala ako sa mood bigla)

-

Nix!RetardedTest.

2008-12-18T16:28:00.000+08:00

-

-

[x]You have yelled at an inanimate object for 'hurting' you.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[ ] You have been called a blond.
[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[x] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit.

So far: SEVEN!

[x] You have seen the Matrix/Star Wars and still don't get it.
[x] You type with three fingers or less.
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire. (my hair, of all THINGS)
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

So far: ELEVEN!

[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you were talking about.
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you.
[x] You are often told to use your "inside voice."

So far: FIFTEEN!

[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[ ] You have eaten a bug by accident.
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

So far: EIGHTEEN!

[ ] You re-post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[x] You break/lose a lot of things.
[x] You tilt you're head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[ ] The word "um" is used many times a day.
[ ] You don't know what "um" means.
[x] You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[ ]You used a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.

Total: TWENTY-THREE!

Multiply this by three and it is your percent!

23 x 3 = 69%.
LOL.

[Nakuha ko ito kay Jofer Serapio. Naastigan ako e. LOL]

Thoughts of Dawn

2008-12-17T13:43:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I feel frustrated anger.

Kamusta naman dude, parehas kami ni Joboy. :)) Ang mood changes ngayon sa paligid ay talaga namang disastrous.

I hate when those things occur, since you're left in the dark lagi. Problematic kasi ngayon ang mga tao sa school, probably with the pressure and all, but some of the people's overreacting-ness makes me want to strangle necks and get heads jammed together. I don't know, but for some strange reason right now, and I really REALLY thank the Lord God, I am actually 100000000000000 (so many zeros) times patient than I was a few weeks ago. I tell you, if this happened at that time? The people of this generation are doomed.

I hope they get to solve their issues, kasi they may not notice it, but it affects the people around them who was supposed to be happy and hyper and all that.

We respect that everyone's got their bad hair days,
but this quote just goes out of the window because

EVERY SINGLE ISKADERDER day for them
is a VERY BAD hair day.

So yeah. I suppose one or two days is enough.
But sadly for them, it's not.

I feel so tired of letting them get their way.

Maybe a cup of coffee would eventually lift up my spirits? But as of now, I sense intense pressure coming from all sides, so I gotta keep my emotions under control to perhaps change the things where they were fated to be.

Twilight!EdwardMORE! Err.

2008-12-15T18:17:00.000+08:00

I saw this picture in an album and came to REALLY, REALLY to the point of insanity.. like it. Bwahaha. Grabe. I fell in love. The picture itself speaks a thousand words. ;) I love Edward.
And Bella as well. :D

But I love Edward more.
Must I say that again?
I love Edward more!
Yey!

Captivating

2008-12-07T18:01:00.000+08:00

I just happen to read the first Twilight installment the whole day. And I found myself more intrigued than I should be.

I have to admit, that after reading, my mind sets off to a certain place, wishing for an Edward Cullen here with me just like that lucky Isabella Swan. :))

I want butterscotch eyes captivating my soul as well. Bwahaha!

Give me the benefit of the doubt, dearest.

2008-11-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

--

And now, I just want to be honest with myself.

I think..

(I DON'T WANT TO BUT I DO THINK.)

I'm pulled down faster than I'm supposed to be.

(faster than ever)

It's getting harder each passing moment,

(harder than stone)

and it's getting a little bit more painful..

(painful than betrayal)

or maybe a little bit more stronger.

(stronger than hate)

I hope to recognize these feelings though.

(what is this? what IS this?)

Because I feel so much upon holding back.

Isang malaking UPAK galing sa inyong paboritong kababayan!

2008-11-13T15:30:00.000+08:00

Pag ako nagblog, sinasabi ko na sayo.

Kung ano ano malalagay ko dito.

Pero yun naman ang kagustuhan nyo, diba?

Feeling ko nga e dapat talaga'y naglalagay ako dito.

Pero minsan lang mangyari yun sapagka't busy ako.

San naman, kamo?

Edi sa ...

(drumroll 1)

(drumroll 2)

(drum--nyek. wag na nga.)

LOVELIFE!

Ay este anak ng tinapay,

sa school lang pala.

Hahahaha. O diba? Patikim palang yan.

Ang sarap ng Palawan nga pala. Galing ako dun. Di nyo alam no? Syempre, wala naman akong sinasabi tungkol dun e.

Pero nagpapasalamat ako sa Panginoon kasi talaga namang hindi ako umuwi ng walang maiuuwi sa mga magulang ko. Alam kong proud sila sakin at yun lang, YUN LANG talaga, sapat na para sa dugo't pawis at kung ano ano pang ewan na naiisip mo.

Ang arts ko nga pala na tubig-kulay, nasa ika-walong lugar, pero masayang masaya na rin ako at nangyari yun. Kahit na napaiyak ako ng konti, ayos na din kasi andyan naman si Lord, tska blessed na masyado ang school namin para humingi pa.

Ako nga pala ngayon undergoing a
severe case of depression.

Dahil sa labis kong kinababaliwan na
BABY DAMULAG ko sa kris kringle.

Kung nakikita lang 'to ni Sir Jan, pagtatawanan nya ako ng todo todo na baka sabihan din ako ng Shattered Glass, tulad ng kanyang taimtim na ginagawa araw kay Ruth.

Hay nako. Hmm, ang paces ko ang iniisip ko ngayon, mahirap nang magisip ng iba, no!

Pero minsan napapaisip parin..ahem.

May nangyari kaninang strange, pero kung ano yun, akin nalang yun.

Yung scripture video namin na naedit ko nga pala'y unang command performance. Kung ano ang command performance I leave it your imagination pero dong, talagang sobra over sa kaadikan at pinalabas pa yun sa harap ng ibang schools.

Ewan ko nalang sa sarili ko at nakaya ko pang titigan ang mga tao sa kanilang mga kumikislap at kritikong mata.

Coughs. <-- effect yan ha.

Mahilig nga pala ako ngayon magsulat ng kung ano ano, mapa-quote man yan o shortened drabble.

Nagbabasa rin ako ngayon ng manga, MARAMING MARAMING manga. Aabot na yun sa moon pag binilang mo.

Ay hindi, exaggerated lang yun ah.

Anime din nanonood ako, di nga lang Naruto, sapagka't meron akong grudge na hinahawakan kay Saucy ngayon, kahit na sya ang footer ko sa baba ng multiply ko.

O, HAHAHA. Tumingin ka sa baba no?

Hay basta, maraming nangyari sa Palawan, kaya lang di ako sigurado kung pwedeng ilabas. Siguro yung kay Kenn at Marinelli, pero alam na naman ng lahat ng tao dito sa multiply yun kaya di na siguro kailangan.

Kung tungkol sakin ang itatanong mo, well..

Mahirap iexplain e, speechless ako.

AHAHAY! Charing lang yun mga pare.

Victory party nga pala bukas, kailangan ko nang maghanda ng sarili. Feeling ko irurush edit ko yung mga video.

Dapat siguro e wag na muna nila ipalabas, para maedit ko pa. Sa recognition nalang..

Pero wala akong magagawa e. Haaay.

Meron nga pala akong mga huling mensahe.

Kung sino man may cookies and cream na polvoron dyan galing goldilaXX, pahingi naman o.

Maawa naman kayo sa aking poorlet na kaluluwa.

Sige na, hyper na ako, gutom na ako e. Magcomment kayo pag binasa nyo, nagmumukha akong eploks dito na mukhang kumakausap ng sarili ko.

(IT's exactly what's happening, but hey, be quiet about it)

Detective Conan addicts;
let's REUNITE!

Random feelings!

2008-10-20T17:57:00.000+08:00

Whenever the scene last Saturday comes in to my mind, I would burst in hysterical laughter that left me considered retarded and absolutely out of the world by my fellow art people.

It has been long since I've ever really updated for real. Well, I was supposed to do this a long time ago, but I never had enough opportunity and inspiration, until now.

Many have happened in my strange, yet typical ground you call a world. I'm currently very busy with my watercolor work; after all, it has been really hectic now with the arts because of the deadline supposedly today, but ended up extended until tomorrow. 95 percent complete, I was really hyper for 10 minutes straight to have my art almost finished, while I was in the danger zone last week.

Well, going back to last Saturday; actually, it's the highlight of this update, I'm just inserting a few events here and there, to make it a little bit more fun to read.

I was obligated (yes, because I had music, platform, and art events) to go to school on a weekend day -- which is.. DYARAN! Saturday! I was despaired at first, freely because Saturdays are only the times I get to be myself and go run wild for a while, playing video games and surfing the internet without bothering to sleep and eat and think (I am actually not fond of thinking, it gets my head aching). It was a normal day, except we could eat outside because the canteen was not open.

An event on the afternoon though completed my day.

It was a very busy lunch time and I was busy scribbling random notes on my paint testing papers when suddenly came a (strangely) teary friend from the sliding door, and I was surprised to see her in such a state. I didn't exactly expect the person to act like that, she wasn't a damsel in distress after all..or maybe? But anyway, I asked her what is the problem.. then she broke into silent cries. Yes, it's silent; it wasn't hysterical like the way I was used to. :)) I wondered what in the world happened.

Then finally she opened up to us.

And we cut the story short, because I need to sleep now. Hahaha. :))

And yes, I'm serious. You got to wait, or let the real person do the story in narrative form for you guys. ^^;

Need to go, I'll try continuing this tomorrow.

Completed

2008-10-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

Completed by nhix-san
Drama. Drabble.

--

"I couldn't love you."

--

He had uttered the words you dread to hear.

Every letter, every syllable, every word.

The statement was so simple, yet so complex.

--

"I couldn't."

--

Now you are finally afraid to take the risk.

Since you feel you are unable to face the truth.

That he couldn't actually love somebody like you.

You don't know the answer to his sentence.

It may have been even well for him if you stayed quiet.

But it would have been hell for you if you did.

So you gather the courage, doing it in a very slow pace.

Because he is standing there, waiting for any reaction.

And you know, you feel that his eyes are upon you even if your eyes is cast on the ground.

--

So you answer him in a whispered manner.

"But I will love you."

You would be with him all the way.

--

Your bowed head is suddenly raced because this time, there is no backing down.

Not anymore. You will not repeat the same mistake all over again.

--

"My love," you put your hand to your heart, comprehending what it has been telling you all along. "is enough for us two."

You would continue to do this for him.

--

His impassive face contained emotions now.

"You don't need to love me."

your voice is filled with determination.

You would ignore his faithful rejections.

--

"I would fill in the gap."

your eyes look on his with satisfaction.

Because here, right now..

--

"I will complete you. Even if you don't allow me."

His face was suddenly emotionless once again, but his orbs are showing another side of him.

"I will, Sasuke-kun."

A smile was seen in her features, and his gaze was disturbed.

And just a little bit more..

--

"I will." She muttered.

--

Finally, finally..

"Because I couldn't not."

--

He was yours to complete.

--

--

--

--

Make me something worth redeeming, Sakura.

--

End.

A/N: Inspired.

Circumstances of Youth

2008-10-10T18:20:00.000+08:00

--

Circumstances of Youth

--

There is suffering in the youth’s bitterness

That consumes in a pace of rapid swiftness

They seek for relief, for the truth of the Lord

Hopes of getting it in the midst of the horde.

But sin comes surely in ease with temptation

Smiting their yearning, devoid of sensation

Deep within hearts that spoke longing and desire

It covers willpower like pond roofed in mire.

In this time they are to end with exhaustion

The false courage painfully as obstruction

They felt nothing but unruly emptiness

That triggered their wish for the Lord of kindness.

They are lost past merit, feelings gone astray

Unable to see what the truth does portray

Like tiny sheep with no sense of direction

Lacking the power to see their defection.

Sightlessly saunters the ways of gloom’s surface

They question ineptly, “Are we a disgrace?”

No guarantee enters the depths of their minds

As they allow crime to surround them in binds.

The youth greatly call for aid and assurance

They search for prospects and giving of clearance

Holding firm supports like faith and sympathy

There is hope if we progress and be hasty.

Judgment is near but young people have not known

Never told of the offenses to atone

So with conviction we would stand in God’s name

To make recognition that He loved them same.

--

A/N: My poetry entry for the NSC. :) Four hours ng pag-squeeze sa brain yan.
11 syllables, 28 lines.

The Three Trees

2008-10-10T14:40:00.000+08:00

Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto representation.
The three trees. :D

--

In a fall season, there was a garden.

In it were three trees.

Leaves weren't exactly present that time, but uhe first stood tall, impertubable, and unable to reach. Beautiful colored wood was only the thing you could see in it.

Its second figure was not as tall as the other, but really matches well with the wood of the first. In its branches laid three bird's nests, because it gives comfort and security to the fowls.

It was incredibly synchronized that people didn't think of any other to fit, because after all, what is exactly the use?

But strangely, there was a third one.

And no, this third one isn't anything like the first two. As a matter of fact, it showed a lot of vulnerability. There was nothing seen in this tree, they thought, unable to recognize the potential and usefulness it held.

Tangled branches, only a few feet high, and looked exactly like dead wood.

They allowed it for years to stay, because it had no use. It could not be seen from afar, unlike the first, and it was not admired like the second, since they thought it had no absolute reason to exist.

The need for small wood came to their senses one time. Then they remembered this third tree. Without no remorse, they cut it into pieces.

Sighing satisfactorily, thinking that at last it came to some use.

The next morning, people were excited to see the first two trees. They were rejoicing, being able to comprehend that perfection is the only thing to be seen in the garden, because the strange looking tree in their middle was finally gone.

To their surprise, they found the two trees dried up.

Dried up, no spice of life present in their entity.

Shock enveloped their senses.

They wondered why such a thing could happen. They wanted to put blame and punish someone about it. But no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't find fault in anyone.

There was never one at fault.

It was only later then that they realized what is the truth beneath this catastrophic event.

The third tree that they cut, the one they abhorred for so long, seen as an imperfection in the supposedly perfect picture of a perfect garden,

Was the reason the two trees existed.

It was not a tree,

but rather a big connection root that went out of the ground because of its enormous size.

They had taken the trees' life away.

--

A/N: Inspired. Unedited. ;)

Modotte! Mamotte! Lollipop!

2008-10-06T14:44:00.000+08:00

I won't deny it.

I love this manga. WOOT. :))

It's so cute, and the drawing's cute.. and Zero and Nina are perfect for each other as well!

Woo, I guess it's a lot better than the first series (Mamotte! Lollipop!) because they're bigger, and relationships are much more rational. LOL.

Random page from the manga Modotte! Mamotte! Lollipop! Vol.02 Ch.006, page 22 from Mangafox.com:

So pretty, right? Even the drawing! :))

Life's Circumstances

2008-10-03T18:09:00.000+08:00

--

Life'sCircumstances by nhix-san

--

Life isn't about flowers and daisies.

It's about the weeds that appear around them, and the ability to dispose without actually destroying the plants.

A hard task for a normal person, but we aren't made normal.

We were made with originality, with a talent and a perseverance to sabotage.

It is only pitiful

that some actually didn't know they had it.

--

A/N:
I cannot do what I have to do without writing this out.

Tifa's Feelings

2008-10-01T17:32:00.000+08:00

Random FFVII fiction.
Tifa's perspective. Drabble.
by nhix-san.
No official title yet.

--

He had come home with bad bruises all over his body.

Torn clothes, and a dislocated leg..

I carefully lead him to his bed.

He was heavy..

And I try to leave him for a while,

to get the first-aid.

But when I turned to him, there in the bed so broken, I had no choice but to sit back there and hope that scars would be gone by just looking at them.

Or at least for time to heal them.

Though could it apply to Cloud?

He's a personality of no definition.

I sigh.

We have saved the planet.

He had saved humanity from the destruction of meteor.

But had he saved himself?

I do not know.

I want to know.

But I do not know.

I am Tifa, the one who stood on the sidelines.

Fell for this chocobo-haired hero of the planet,

and is his childhood friend as well.

The Tifa, who has never been able to know.

"Are you okay?"

This is so stupid, asking the question when you exactly knew what answer he'd give you.

A nod,

that strangely looked like a shook of the head.

I feel so ridiculously helpless.

Looking at him right now, painfully

(trying to mend the pieces of his life that has been destroyed by)

[destiny]

Sephiroth.)

gasping for air.

Had he been fighting his battle alone?

Could Cloud understand still the mere fact that we are always there for him?

That I'm always here? Right here?

Even Aerith, Aerith who was the flower girl, the savior of humanity as well from the lifestream, had been watching him and being there in his heart.

Why does he keep on fighting his battle alone?

I feel so much anger, that my hands shook.

But I couldn't let it out right now, because the source of my anger is right in front of me.

Breathing heavily,

(almost without no hope)

looking like he's too tired to breathe.

Keep on breathing, Cloud. Keep on!

I want to be selfish just this once.

I want to lash out and

(hug him and tell him that everything's fine, that everything would eventually settle back to place)

shout at him for being such an idiot.

But I can't.

So instead I just watch him silently, my hand reaching out to hold his own.

Because it's all that I could do for him.

I feel hatred for being helpless,

but I need to find something to help him redeem himself

and also find my redemption.

So as he calms down,

I silently cry.

Not just because of his pain,

but because of mine as well.

--

--

--

Cloud, why are you so close yet so far away?

--

--

A/N:
Inspired again. Unedited.

random!

2008-09-29T17:33:00.000+08:00

And we stop emo for some random comic relief by The Clairvoyant's author.

Sasuke: Itachi, where do babies come from?

Itachi: ...

Sasuke: Shisui-san said that they came from chickens!

Itachi: Shisui is an idiot.

Sasuke: Then where do babies come from?

Itachi: Babies come from HATRED.

--

--

LOL.

Slipped

2008-09-29T15:31:00.000+08:00

--

Slipped by nhix-san
You smile to forget. You smile to forgive. But smiles would never be enough, if from the very start, you don't actually have the heart.

--

You smile as he frowns at you.

His gaze emotionless, dark eyes showed no mercy.

Only contempt, masked in indifference.

How'd you know?

Well, you know so much about him that even himself didn't know.

You observe carefully, you feel your memories with the traces of his face.

From the curves of his cheeks, to the corners of his eyes,

since you think you are about to see him slip.

--

You smile as you try to forget the hurtful words he had said to you.

So painful, so unreal, and so humiliating that you want the earth to swallow you whole.

But that's not gonna happen, 'cause he's here, right in front of you.

With a scowl, and with that stoic look.

He had just abashed you like a knife head on, straight on,

that it went through your heart and out all over.

But you still smile.

It was strange smiling that time, but you knew you have no choice.

You try to forget.

You smile to forget.

Because you knew, he is slowly slipping away from you.

--

You are currently on the bridge.

And you see from there,

the bench with a trash can beside it.

The bench that held too much painful reminiscences that you had to turn away.

You smile to forgive, it has ended, it is the past you knew.

Now at last he comes.

He glances at you, surprised that you actually came early that day.

It wasn't the usual you.

You read his face, it showed curiosity that faded in the beat of the second since you committed a change in your lifestyle.

It did fade anyway.

You smile at him,

because you forgive the way

(--you tend to tolerate this even though you shouldn't)

he uses nonchalance to slip away from you.

--

You smile.

You smile always.

You want to smile forever.

But forever is such a long time,

and you know you couldn't.

It hurts to smile as you try to choke a sob.

But you succeed, for him, only for him.

It was always for him.

You smile to forget.

You smile to forgive.

You smile for him.

But you know inside you it was a mask.

It was a

(hindrance)

barrier.

He just didn't knew every bit of it was for him.

You feel that it is painful, that it means more suffering for you.

So at this moment you realize,

smiles could never be enough.

If you didn't actually have the heart.

Because this time you are finally slipping,

and you didn't know that you are.

--

I smile.

Only.

For.

You.

--

--

--

--

Would you remember the smiles I gave to you, as you slip from within my reach?

--

End.

--

A/N:
Inspired. :)

the biggest err in the history of err.

2008-09-21T13:46:00.000+08:00

--

blah with a blah and a couple of blah here and there.

bwahahahalala. i feel so much inspired.

i don't actually know the reason why, probably because of something?

(or maybe.. someone?)

BANANAKS. i want to strangle every one of you, kasi asar kayo ng asar.. mahuhuli tayo!

as of now naman ayos pa rin, clueless parin, at ayos na yun sakin. para may challenge, o diba?

(that's how twisted my mind is)

paurong update tayo.

friday, i was at school.

(obviously, please just kill me for my obviousness)

ako'y talaga namang nosebleed.

writing a poetry isn't very much good for the heart, especially if you're not in the mood to actually write same syllables and you don't have the heart to rhyme last words.

(i was almost DEAD [N-LV-A] and a SERIOUS EPIC fail [N-LV-N])
para hindi mukhang wrong grammar.

para talaga akong natanggalan ng tinik nung nakita ko na ang last stanza na maayos na.

(i came to school that day with three stanzas, two of which needed to be revised, and i tell you THINKING HURTS A LOTTA MORE THAN RESTING!)

OOPS. wait up.

mamaya na ako magtutuloy.

andyan na ata si pastor erich!

OH EM GEE. gotta go. whaaait.

--

I laughed after reading this.

Really.

My mind's kinda twisted these days. I just said that there, BUT I NEEDED EMPHASIS.

Okay?

Okay?

Okay.

Yey!

Hmm, dapat nageedit ako ng scripture video ngayon e. Kaya lang parang wala ako sa kondisyon.

Kaya kailangan ko nang ginagawa para ma-inspire mag-edit.

Ayaw ko kasi ng na-pepressure ako.

It makes me want to get my eyeballs out.

Or maybe you could do that for me?

Ahem.

Hm, itutuloy ko nalang yung kwento ko.

Ewan ko kung scandalo mo masasabi ung nangyari nung friday,

pero I was ACTUALI, REALI, TO THE POINT OF INSANITI nosebleeding.

Kasi parang nasa computer ako, 'tas nagiisip ako ng nagrha-rhyme na words 'tas gagawin kong sentence 'tas parang inaasar ka nung nag-biblink na ewan dun sa microsoft word.

Parang sinasabi kasi, "Ano? Di mo pa ba ako igagalaw? Ilang taon ka nang nakatingin sa blankong page a."

Hay. Tamo, ganyan na gumana ang utak ko nung mga panahong yun.

'Tas kamuntik pa ako matira sa arts ko, at sadyang ang kapal na daw kasi. Eh watercolor yun, hindi pwede yung mga ginagawa kong kabalbalan.

Nakakatakot pa kasi pagpasok ni Ma'am, masakit daw ang ulo nya. E nung thursday kasi daw, kwento nang aming poor source na si Ate Eliona, she was not just "shotgunned", but practically "bazooka-ed" in a bull's eye (nonexistent idiom used for randomness) kasi talaga daw pati yung mga gamit nya na di maayos pag nag-aarts sya natira.

Weee. Sarap.

So instead of being quiet and all, I decided to open up conversations, for Ma'am to become something humane, or maybe something not actually too depressing.

Kasi syempre pressured ka na and all, mahirap naman kung sasama pa ang loob mo for something na dapat evitable naman, diba?

So thank the heavens the Lord blessed and heard ang prayers namin sa arts, na maganda naman ang countenance ni Ma'am nung umalis na sya, at nung andun sya sa loob.

Point up na rin kasi na binuksan ang aircon nung room na pinag-aarts-an namin, kamusta namang kasing init yan oo.

Buti pa ang mga stateside dyan (OI YUNG BIRTHDAY REGALO KO AH, ay este, dapat ikaw pala) tsaka yung mga regular blog updater dyan (ISA KA PANG MAY BIRTHDAY, SA SCHOOL MANLIBRE KA AH, KAHIT PIZZA LANG.) Sana alam nyo kung sino kayo. ;)

Hmm.. thursday ba anong nangyari?

Di ko na matandaan, HALA. Delirious memory gap na ito, mga dong. Kailangan ko nang magbagong buhay.

Ayan, I feel real and living once again, pwede na siguro akong mag-edit na hindi magiging disaster ang gagawin ko.

God bless sa inyo at sana pagpray nyo kaming mga convention people kasi talagang ibang klaseng pressure na ang itinatambak sa amin. Lalo na ngayong feeling ko ang saturday classes ay magsisimula na.

Hala hala hala what the LOL talaga.

Good health sana and long life, ha?

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
MAAAAAAH. LAAAAAAAAAH.

RAHHH. PIE!

Err.

P.S.
Because randomness would always have random as its prefix.

be warned..

2008-09-18T16:46:00.000+08:00

-

i rant to you that creatures like me are
possessive.

it may not be evident, but
I AM.

and the
FOOD YOU JUST ATE IS MINE.

ord maybe I'm too afraid to tell that
the creature is mine?

so dear, feast your eyes not on my PROPERTY.

--

i had fun with big letters and their colors and their fonts.
be happy and smile, it's meant for people stealing MAH food, and i hope it's not you. ;)

My Sasuke

2008-09-18T15:39:00.000+08:00

My Sasuke.
Romance/Humor. SasuSaku. :D

--

He's my Sasuke.

No matter how twisted his brain could be.

It wasn't his fault to have been brought up on such state..

Without any family members to talk to.

I love him.

Because he's my Sasuke.

Thank you so much.

-

There's nothing that could change what I feel.

For the apathetic brat, because I think this is it.

This is real.

I would wait for the right moment,

to tell him the words that I wanted to tell.

Because he's my Sasuke.

I love you so much.

-

That dumb bastard.

Hurting me with his nonchalance wouldn't stop me.

There is nothing that could stop me.

In being in love with him.

Because he's my Sasuke.

It's painful, but I miss you.

-

Jealousy is a painful thing.

You wouldn't want to feel it even once in your life.

Jealousy is a word different from envy by the way.

So I wouldn't use envy, because it means, to have not owned yet.

But I have owned Sasuke-kun.

In my heart.

He's my Sasuke.

Where in the world was that girl, by the way?

-

He became a jounin today.

And I feel so much happiness for him.

I smile at him, and he scoffs at me.

Tells me to go away, to leave him alone.

But I wouldn't.

Nuh-uh, dear.

Never.

Because he's my Sasuke.

I wouldn't give up.

-

My persistence looks so much annoying.

Even to the person doing it, I am very much aware.

But you couldn't get unless you try and try right?

They ask me if I would try 'till I die.

And with determination, I would answer the two wicked words.

Of course.

Because he's my Sasuke.

He's mine.

-

He breaks my heart so consistently.

And I thought I wasn't about to give up any time soon.

But this weariness I'm feeling in waiting was dragging me.

Maybe, forgetting and moving on would help us both?

After all, I love him.

Because he's my Sasuke.

Could I even let go?

-

I decided to take a date with Shino.

He looked actually very dashing that day.

Without the trademark glasses, he was pretty.

But he was nothing like Sasuke.

Who was sinfully delicious that day as well.

I softly gazed at him.

Because he's my Sasuke.

Was that a scowl evident on his face?

-

With that bouquet of flowers I went home.

Smiling and unfazed, I started opening my front door.

Another experience like that wouldn't hurt, right?

Before I even enter,

a vice-like grip is on my wrist.

And that hand, the fingers..

I know it.

Because he's my Sasuke.

What are you doing?

-

He was exhausted.

From one's point of view he was looking like a person who ran twelve times around Konoha.

I was concerned about his welfare, because I think he's going to faint.

But he didn't.

Wow.

He gazed at me strangely, too intensely for my liking.

It was so awkward I had to stutter out,

"What are you doing?"

He was silent for a while,

(I swear if he doesn't speak I'm gonna turn my back on him--)

"What are you doing?"

I was shocked at how pissed off he sounded.

(Well, at least he answered..)

"I went on a date."

He scoffed.

"Why?"

I scoffed as well.

"To enjoy life, Sasuke-kun."

I loved torturing him, making him feel how much

(--he needed me.)

I needed him.

Because he's my Sasuke.

-

I loved being selfish. My parents, my friends, the village.. I think they knew.

They just didn't want me to know that they know.

Except perhaps Sasuke.

He looked at me.

He actually GLARED.

"That's absurd."

I met him eye for an eye.

"How would you know?"

He smirked.

Oh how I wish I could

(kiss)

slap that wicked smile out of his face.

"Because you needed me to enjoy life, Sakura."

That made me angry.

"That's pathetic, Sasuke!"

"It's the truth."

"I don't need you now in my life! Not ANYMORE!"

He winced.

"Stop shouting, it's annoying."

Then his face was

(gorgeous)

serious.

"Stop being so stubborn, Sakura."

And before I had the chance to retort back,

everything went blank and blurry when he kissed me.

Oh heavens.

This is so real!

This is my Sasuke.

-

I was shocked beyond belief.

I still wanted to say something but..

Maybe it was best left unsaid and all.

Who would want their highlight broken anyway right?

He pulled away.

"I like you."

He said.

And I knew that I just had to

kiss him once again.

Since I like him as well.

And because he was after all..

from the start

My Sasuke.

-

END.

-

A/N:
HAHAHAHAA. ;))

Afterlife: Meant to

2008-09-13T15:45:00.000+08:00

A/N:
This one actually didn't make sense,
but it seemed fulfilling because sometimes,
the world doesn't really make sense after all.
Because it was meant to be not to be meant to be.

Perspective of some random person with amnesia.

--

Afterlife: Meant to

[Alternate Universe for the altered]
The world is full of challenges because promises are meant to be made and done,
not to be broken, yet people show no remorse on breaking them.

--

She refused to endanger herself and put her life on such predicament.

One may tell another in a whispering manner, like backstabbing, that she was just a coward.

Some would be driven by conscience before uttering the word pride,

since people have inflated pride, and no matter how high they were in the society, they were people.

They were meant to be people, but they were meant to have pride too.

Some would never even try apologizing for the words used.

Because they are not meant to.

Words are meant to be encouraging.

And maybe somehow they could be made to destroy.

But people do not deserve to subterfuge each other just because words are meant to destroy.

People must not to destroy each other.

But there is no other reason because it's meant to be no matter how undeserving, so she never backed away from the choice she decided to make.

She never looked to where she came from because she never knew, she never experienced, and she never remembered.

She knew that never was a word meant to be for her.

This reason was why she downright refused to commit a sin meant to save the world,

because she was afraid..

..scared enough to stop enduring the unforgiveness meant by the world.

So she breaks her promise.

And she stops promising anymore.

Until she vows..

To never commit another mistake on making it again.

She promised not to promise.

How ironic can our challenged world be.

Though it was how it's meant to be.

Happy and Unbroken

2008-08-24T16:04:00.000+08:00

Feels Like Tonight - Chris Daughtry

|| Feels like Tonight -- Chris Daughtry ||

You, you got me
Thinking it'll be alright.
You, you told me,
'Come and take a look inside.'
You believed me,
In every single lie.
But I, I failed you this time.

And it feels like tonight.
I can't believe I'm broken inside.
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you?
And it feels like tonight,
Tonight.

I was waiting
For the day you'd come around.
I was chasing,
And nothing was all I found.
From the moment you came into my life,
You showed me what's right.

And it feels like tonight.
I can't believe I'm broken inside.
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you?
And it feels like tonight.

I never felt like this before.
Just when I leave, I'm back for more.
Nothing else here seems to matter.
In these ever-changing days,
You're the one thing that remains.
I could stay like this forever.

And it feels like tonight.
I can't believe I'm broken inside.
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you?
And it feels like tonight.
Tonight.
Tonight.
'Cause there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you.
And it feels like tonight.
Tonight...

--

I felt so happy listening to this song. It felt surreal and fitting to me, even though my lovelife isn't on going right now. Strange, right? :)) (There wasn't any lovelife going on from the very start, just trying to fill up the space for a much longer paragraph.. or did that make any sense?)

I just came back from Indonesia last morning. The trip was very safe. There were some turbulence here and there, but nevertheless, everything was smooth and silky -coughs-. Talk about shampoo overdose.. I just had fun drinking our shampoo last night. BWAHAHA.

The Call [It's a fast, not a festival.] was nice, the people looked so blessed and happy that they have participated the event. Even though I didn't understand most of it ('cause after all, they aren't afraid of speaking Bahasa even though there's foreign people present who couldn't speak their language) but it was great overall. I just ate 45,000 worth of KFC chicken, and yes, your lazy updater here isn't joking.

15,000's one meal (consisting of a SPICY chicken and a rice with hot sauce without a spoon and a fork) while a bottled water over there costs about 2,000. Rupiahs anyway, though even knowing that, it seemed so weird. One hundred dollars over there were 904,000, and they've got a whole 100,000 bill. I felt happy holding one for some strange reason too..

The Ring of Fire convergence was what really struck my heart so hard, from the very core to its center. (Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I think I'm not..) In every session, there was an altar call and the Spirit of God manifested on the people. It was a very, very, very great experience to the point of insanity, I swear to you from my heart. I was part of the Manila worship team, and it was my first time participating as a back-up singer, and not a musician, because after all, the keyboard have always been my tool of the trade whenever I enter into praise and worship ground.

The first day of the convergence consisted of us being the opening ceremony, with our fellow back-up Ate Grace, singing We Speak to Nations, while we back her up. (That was redundant, but I couldn't afford opening the MW for synonyms because I'm too lazy so just cope up with it, alright? As long as I think you understand, maybe you'd learn to appreciate this update somehow. XD) We were told afterwards that everybody liked the atmosphere delivered throughout the whole ceremony, and it felt like a thorn was brought out from our chests, so I really, really thank the Lord for it! The mighty God who redeems has moved through us! (It was the song we were really practicing the entire week before and even in the hotel where we stayed)

The second day was very nice too, especially that almost the Singapore team played the whole day, but we haven't had the chance to lead worship that day because it was not scheduled.. The speakers told a lot of prophesies, and I was deeply moved by their very intense conviction, since it was my very first time to ever have a chance witnessing it in action.

Third day.. well, third day was the best. The last, but definitely not the least. We had a prayer tunnel, just like what the JFA students did last convention, which proved to be an effective way of bringing praises at the feet of Jesus Christ, because most of the people who passed by the tunnel on the convergence was slain by the Holy Spirit. It was an absolute awesomeness that I couldn't let the opportunity go by as I quietly made my way through the tunnel. I did not fall like the others, but I felt so free and so unreal I don't want to actually believe that it's me in my body. That's the time I've set free all my iniquities.. for some opening up by a person thoughtful happened to occur two days before our actual flight. It almost contaminated my brain the whole Indonesian trip, save for the last days.. because I've realized that maybe I needed to set it free in order to fulfill what has been willed for me by God to happen on the gathering.

I've finally set it free, I've been set free, and I hope they would be set free. I'm ready to ask my pardon, and nothing else matters unless I get myself humbled in front of them. I am so hyper because I am so happy and I do not want to let any chance pass by without even being a sport and doing the things I must do.

Hmm. I didn't get most of the things entered in here, but I think you'd get it, because you're still here and reading and still interested what word is actually next, right? :)) So God bless to all of you, and I hope to have given a frankly, average detailed report of my trip, which was summarized in a fast way because my father kept on calling me right now and I wouldn't afford on actually making him what for a little more time.. (he might get angry, and my mood could get ruined.. you do not know what the devil has for you after you've been able to be happy with the Lord, but I know he couldn't touch me now, right?)

More power to you! :)

in her weakness.

2008-08-12T18:24:00.000+08:00

Sakura glanced at the books with a confused look on her face. She had been thinking for the past three hours what things are needed to be finished before full-marking the end of the work that was given to her, but his face would always pop into her mind like some kind of a disastrous bug that lingered on your computer and never gets the hell out of it even if you want to. Though this girl is unsure whether or not she wants it out.

When he looked at her, she felt beautiful. She felt so real, and so human. Everything just went out flying through the window with a mere glance, a mere smile, even a simple and small smirk, and this simple yet dangerous manner scared her. After all, this strange feeling only happen to weird television shows that concern love stories of a high school teenager brat, and she never thought about these things, and that it could actually happen in real life. She had been in her field for a couple of years, and couldn’t afford to lose it because of a pathetic reason such as this, yet who was it that she was kidding? There are some things that appeared like traps, but in the end the assassin would realize: it was just a small opening to something never really posing a threat. At a few moments even, she finds herself incapable of talking direct and being forward at his presence, creating a very strange atmosphere especially that in the very beginning, her attitude was never like that. Her perspective on life a few months ago was a little broader, a little more closed, and a little more secured than this stupid piece of a world she calls now.

However, she realizes that whatever is done and whatever is there is now there. Work or not, she was to accept the fact that everything that is to be delivered and important are concerning her mission and not him, no matter how hard reality could have been. How much pain the truth slaps brutally on the face however is not an entity she wants to relive.

--

It's an excerpt from something I wrote just a few hours ago. I looked scandalous after though. It seemed as if I changed my way of writing in a short span of a lifetime, and it scares me to some point, especially that I think it's really stupid changing specialties in a limited period of a moment. ;) I was redundant, but I think it's for emphasis. LOL.

Anyway, please excuse its grammatical errors.. I was not looking at it this time, only the very definition of changing the way I write from descriptive to poetic then finally, narrative.

HAHAHA. :))

Hers

2008-08-04T18:04:00.000+08:00

Atoli's perspective.
(Somehow)
My version of the .hack//g.u. movie. It's not accurate, because I decided it's best like that. After all, I'm a poetic writer, not a narrative one. ;)

--

At first glance, you saw him smirk.

(It was gorgeous--)

Though full of hate and bitterness seeping its way through his face.

(It was so evident that you noticed--)

You went to him and asked why he killed; why it was executed mercilessly.

(Because you know -you feel- that it's not the real him.)

--

He turned to answer you (roughly), only to stop when he saw your face and he uttered another name.

(You think that this person looked so much like you, and special because almost all his cold exterior crumbled down)

He was surprised--

(--You were too--)

--and since it was so awkward, you decided to smile.

(The look on his face told you he remembered something.)

Your mentor knew him, and when he realized you're not the person--

(--he wanted you to be--)

--he was looking for--

He shrugged off, then saw a person he knew from afar.. and went away.

--

Ignoring everything around him that had happened just a few minutes before..

(You knew in your heart that he was going to meet his shadows--his darkness--)

You are disappointed, but you allowed time to do it for you.

(Because you may find yourself face to face with him again,
just like this moment..)

--

However, you can't seem to get him out of your mind.

So you asked people, and though they suspiciously looked at you --

(Since you are trying to find someone dangerous..)

--they directed you to the eternal city's gate.

(It was a gamble going, unsure if he would be there or not; but you've been brought down to no choice, but to grasp on something rather than nothing--)

--

And he was there.

(It was worth it after all.)

He has done something that seemed important but you have no idea what it is.

That simple thought makes you cringe, because you want to know.

You gathered courage to meet him, since you are nervous beyond belief.

(Too afraid to be rejected all over again--)

He is irritated by seeing you, since you looked like a stalker to him--

(and you sensed the aura that he wanted you to leave--)

and you want to back off now.

But you wouldn't--couldn't.

(Because you know that this time, he needs someone.. it may not be you, but you could still pretend--)

--

Since you are so persistent, he allowed you to come with him.

It was hard, him always being on the offensive (attacking, battling.. since he was strong) while you looked helpless being his defensive support.

(Because he needed it not.)

After all these things, you tried getting him into a conversation

(an innocent one, just to get to know him, and you wanted him.. to smile.)

But he shoved you away, after something unintentionally said by you entered his hearing.

(You were too dazed and hurt to even retort back)

And so you couldn't bear the place; it seemed suffocating.

--

The words he said were painful, and you could do nothing but contemplate, since you didn't know him that much.

In the place where you find peace you hear a man's voice, and you learned that this man is an acquaintance of his.

(You think that this is fate, or maybe even destiny)

And he wanted you to go somewhere.

--

You are told of the enemy's location.

(the man who did everything--made him what he is right now.)

But he went to where you are, freaked out why you left; worried why you went to such a place.

You were happy that he came for you (because at long last you are finally being acknowledged), but you still reasoned with him because you wanted him to smile.

(Because you want to be seen as you..)

Though this gladness was cut short after the enemy attacks.

He looked enraged, literally almost spitting lava all over the place.

(He was angered, full of hurt, despaired)

You watched as he attacked with intensity--

(But not with hate anymore, because now he finally recognizes the people surrounding him)

He clashed rawfully and so, he glanced at you, victorious.

(He had won, he did it.)

This makes you feel joy, and then he walked closer to you to say something.

When it opens.

--

The voice inside the doors desperately called for you.

(and your feet move on their own accord)

He forces you to stop by shouting your name and it was almost too successful..

Yet too late at the same time.

--

Shooting from the holes, something embeds itself in your body.

--it'stheanomalytheanomaly--

and consciousness slips away.

--

You see his eyes one last time,

(have you seen it?

he looked at you, finally.)

before drifting to the pits of oblivion.

--

define random for me, please?

2008-08-02T19:18:00.000+08:00

Ay may pahabol lang akong abujang abujang. (lapadidam language)

Ako'y lilipad at tutungo sa stadium ng kung ano man ng indonesia pagkalipas ng dalawang linggo. Tska makikita na rin ako ng mga taong gumawa ng isang kakaibang pagtatangghal sa magaganap sa paligsahan sa speech. (haha, got me there. can't really maintain a rational tagalog phase, can I? XD)

Kaya yun lang. Mga iskaderder abujang sa inyong lahat!

Matchless

2008-08-02T03:35:00.000+08:00

Matchless
Changing hearts in an instant, and breaking yours.
// Angst. ;)

--

There was a hint of coldness in your rival's eyes that shouted death.

It was concealed with a matchless thing called determination.

Karin had shouted a lot of things, but you knew that it was all because of anger.

She was in love,

and you couldn't be.

(--ohno, never--)

So in her angry retorts, you interrupted them.

"You have a chance."

She was surprised.

"Because Haruno Sakura here," you pointed at yourself, then laughed hurtfully as you fully realize the truth in your words.

"..was never loved by Uchiha Sasuke."

(--She had felt hate, for this girl.. for this Sakura.

But this Sakura deserved Sasuke-kun more.

Because she knew how to let go.)

--

You felt ache.

(--Right here--right here--)

Your heart was finally cracking.

Gruesomely to the point of insanity.

You knew yourself.

You are too easy to break.

Too fragile to crumble.

Too hurting to numb..

It wasn't going to be shown here though.

You vowed to herself--

(--never to love him again--)

--Never to let him see how weak you truly were in the first place.

He had said,

"Don't mess around with me."

I wouldn't..

(bitter inward laugh)

"Like I could," Turning away, pink locks softly caught up with the breeze, "to you."

..be enough for you, would I?

"I know, Sasuke-kun."

You are finally learning.

How to be strong.

"So thank you."

The way his aura changed told you that somehow (--you hoped--) maybe he actually cared.

He seemed too lost to respond.

You suddenly faced him with a smile, and said, "It was all there ever was. You messing around, and my weakness to it."

His eyes widened.

"So there's nothing to treasure but this."

(--He was supposed to be happy, to be doing a victory celebration inside.

But he felt so empty.

Because he had denied what could have been himself.)

--

the fandom..

2008-07-08T17:35:00.000+08:00

Okay. So I took a three day hiatus from the computer. You know why? I can't seem to take my eyes off .hack//g.u. Thought it was some kind of a feeling that'd go away after a while, but chances are slim to none. It even came to a point that I felt so ridiculously stupid muttering the names "Haseo and Atoli" all over again verbally and internally. Blessed be the one who tried consuming my rants about the pairing all day long, and that would be Jayne. Well, tough luck, I did it for her in one part of her life anyway.

Hmm. I have a limited time here in my PC. There are anomalous data surrounding my being for the past few days, and I couldn't get rid of the black spots consuming my brain. I wonder when my avatar would be awakened.. could I be one of the Epitaph Users? I need to ready my Restoring Drops and Revival Medicine for future use.. since my journey would be quite an injury to the heart.

Hahaha, yeah yeah. I'll just shut up. :P Haseo's number one right now, Sasuke's following him. Great change in a span of three days, eh?

--

By the way, here's a little strange fun.
(Err, I am practically feeling weird today. Forgive my disgusting English.)

Jayne is a P_G:
A) I
B) U

Answer by commenting on this entry. The winner would receive a peanut butter sandwich from me. Hoorah for that.

Lapadidam

2008-07-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

Nicole's Dictionary Part ONE.
Isang word sa isang araw.

--

lapadidam, n. isang lenguahe na madalas na gagamit pag hatinggabi. lumalabas ang mga sintomas nito sa ganap na alas-nuwebe ng gabi, (matinding pagkabangag at bumabagsak na mga pilik-mata [teka, nabagsak ba yun?]) at maaari lamang ito gumaling sa pamamagitan ng kasiyahan sa isang bagay (mga tsokolate, kompyuter, estasyon ng mga laro, etc.) o kaya sa tulog.

--

Mga dapat sundin.

Uno. Kung ikaw ay gagamit ng lenguahe na ito, dapat ay di ka gagamit ng letrang "r," bukod lamang sa mga pangalan na sadyang di maiitindihan kung wala nito. Ang lahat ng mga salita na mayroong letrang "r" ay pinapalitan ng "w" upang ito'y mas madaling bigkasin.

Dos. Ingles lang ang pwedeng gamitan ng ganito. Kaya tagalog ang aking pag sasalaysay ay dahil sa pagkuha ko sa lenguahe na ito ay 11:05 na ng gabi.

Tres. Ang mga pang-abay ay dapat na nasa tamang pormasyon at lugar, sapagkat malaki ang karampatang parusa sa taong manlilito ng kapwa nya.

Quatro. Magpakasaya nalang kayo.

Singko. Sundin ang mga patakaran para sa mga batang mangagamit ng lenguahe kung ikaw ay nagsisimula pa lamang. (beginnews, intewmediet)

Pwedeng mga sundan.
eg. i em fillin' quite beastly todae. wan sam coffee?
eg 2. we pwn pow'rs tah turd dogwee.
eg 3. tah quick bwan pax jumss uber tah lassy dog.
eg 4. name's nikore-sama. [dapat nating bigyan ng karampatang pansin ang paggamit ng "r". pinayagan itong magamit dahil pangalan ang nikore-sama. ito ay master nicole sa wikang ingles.] i em tah mouse edible pirson to tah wuld.

Yours Truly with all thine heart and thine soul and thine mind and all that is nice with grammatical errors and size,
The ever truly Nicole who lives in a place who is isolated from the cruel world that normal people live on.

P.S. May CD-R na lalabas para sa pag-aaral nito, ngunit mapapadala ko lang mga lugar na malapit sa Marcos Hi-Way, Sta. Lucia, at ang aking tinitirahan na subdibisyon -- Dacon Homes sa loob ng Kasibulan Village. Sana di kayo magsawa sa mukha ko, sapagka't yun lamang ang inyong makikita sa loob ng apat at kalahating oras.

P.P.S. Oo nga pala, may nalimutan akong sabihin sa inyo. Kailangan ko ng matinding tulong sa aking ginagawang diksyunaryo. Kung kayo ay may ma-idadagdag, gamitin nyo ang ginamit kong uri ng disenyo, 'tas ipadala nyo sa akin sa e-sulat ko.

P.P.P.S. Ito nga pala sya = so_numb23@yahoo.com
Maraming salamat at mabuhay ang mga marurunong umintindi ng utak ng kapwa weirdo. Binabati ko kayo sa inyong matagumpay na dating dito sa kahuli-hulihan. Kung alam nyo lang ang hirap na dinanas ko sa kakaisip ng tamang tagalog na isasalpak dito at doon.

P.P.P.P.S. Magbigay nga pala kayo ng magagandang mga litrato na pwedeng i-tubig kulay (ang baho ng tagalog). Hahaha! Dapat ito ay mayroong subject na centro, na nabibigyan ng emphasis.

HMM. HMM. :))

2008-07-01T18:54:00.000+08:00

Currently, I'm undergoing severe Haseo and Atoli impulses that I couldn't..I couldn't get myself to like SasuSaku at this moment. It scares me to some point, after all, SasuSaku started like three years ago, then this pairing comes and they're like (itchapwera[I love the way I spelled it, it's too LOLs!]).

(HOORAH FOR Haseo x Atoli!)

But BUT! If you've seen Haseo with his new hair, he looks a lot gorgeous than that one with the cut in the middle (he seemed to be on the trend too now, having bangs! XD).

(squeals because she's a fangirl) HE LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE SASUKE-KUN! *breathes*

See?

:D Hahaha! I would sleep.. I just wrapped things up. LOL. (I need this out before I go insane!)

Heartbeat

2008-07-01T17:02:00.000+08:00

Heartbeat

by nhix.

You are in hurt right now.

Suffer the consequences,

Feel how it was to lose somebody close to you.

You watched jealously as he wrapped his arms around her.

And it’s not you.

I wouldn’t…I couldn’t…I’m engaged.

But this does not make the stride a lot much easier.

“Thank you for being there.” He said softly, and he leaned closely. You think that it is too close for comfort, but you do not say anything. You do not want to interrupt the moment.

The woman is a little younger your age; she is quite short, but she seems to fit perfectly in his embrace. “Do not worry about it.”

She smiled and you apprehended that she is beautifulandprettyandintelligentyetundeserving.

This made you realize the lack of concern you had him feel.

How much pushing away have I done?

You are important to him for the past years, you’ve noticed it.

But you’ve broken his heart a dozen times, since you are too impatient to wait for his move.

So you tried finding happiness in another.

Only to realize that you couldn’t, because even though you could apprehend a life without him, you wouldn’t.

You were too selfish..

To acknowledge his presence just now…

When he’s afar, and wouldn’t want to be found.

So you turned away,

(And just like him)

…and stopped fooling yourself.

Because now you know,

…that your heartbeat would only be for him.

--

From the girl's point of view. (LOL-LA-PAN-DA-DAM XD) I'm loving the Afterlong series, eh? Masaya kasi isulat, masyadong in between ang feeling. ^^;

Anong pang dapat sabihin? XD

2008-06-29T16:27:00.000+08:00

Hindi. Ganto nalang. Since napapagod na ako at nagnonosebleed na sa kaka-English na sablay sablay naman, magtatatagalog na ako. Pero may ingles parin, kasi poorlet ako sa tagalog. O diba? Wala na akong specialty tska originality. Naiinggit ako sa mga taong magagaling sa tagalog. Anyway anyway, may inspiration nga pala ako sa mga tagalog na updates, isang journal ng friend ng mga taong mahilig mag-spam at mambulabog ng tahimik na buhay sa multiply. Nakakatuwa sya magsulat, napaka-natural 'tas parang ang straightforward pero ang wide ng tagalog vocabulary, na malimit ang babae na gumamit ng ingles na mga salita, di tulad ko, sagad na nga sa karamihan ang ka-ek-ek-an, sayad pa.

Hay tama na nga ang panlalait ko. Pero hayaan nyo na ako maging emo pagdating sa pagsasalita ko, kasi parang ang pangit kasi talaga na proud to be Pinoy ako 'tas ang sagwa kong magtagalog kasi marami akong di alam na terms.

Ay basta. May ise-share lang ako.

Ang ganda ng .hack//g.u. Dufuls ako dahil ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na maglaro. 'Tas ang masaya pa ngayon, kakalaro ko lang sa kanya kahapon, pero nangatngat ng daga yung wire na pangconnect sa telebisyon, and I found myself shocked and disappointed beyond disbelief (AHEM, tagalog na nga ulit). Ayun basta, nakakapikon. Pero sabi ng nanay ko dapat daw mabait parin tawag namin dun sa daga para wala na syang gawing iba. Totoo kaya yun, aber?

Haay. Buti nalang may manga pa. At masaya akong tumitingin sa kagwapuhan ni Haseo sa "plus" version.

Teka nga, parang wala na akong masabi. Next time na nga lang. Hahahaha! Siguro kasi may aftershock yung kasiyahan na nararamdaman ko dahil sa aking bagong layout.

(Di ako magaling sa color combination e, ngayon lang sya umayos ng ganyan.)

Master's Touch

2008-06-25T13:25:00.000+08:00

Viola for touches!
(That sounded definitely wrong)

--

This is my kind of life.

This is randomrandomrandom. No nonsense. No nothing. Nothing. Zzt. Nada.

Well, somehow for the 238947892374th time in my life, it doesn't suck.

I wonder who's the reason behind this..

Oh tell me why..

Err, I was like, singing, and you can't help but feel weird because you couldn't hear my voice, right?

HA! I could predict what you are thinking.

Well again and again and again, a nice day to everyone. You are reading my good excuse of a blog, and I suggest that you back off now if you aren't gonna make any good comments at all or else I'll have your strange face shoved inside the small hole of the toilet bowl. Or..not.

I desperately want to watch the whole Bleach series. Hitsugaya got me hooked like a fish to a worm on a fishing rod, and boy you know me, I'm not good at exaggerating things at all. (that's Jayne's forte, not mine.) His cold, yet relenting soft eyes was too attractive for fans like me to look away, most probably because it has been added to that "I'm-captain-you-need-to-respect-me" aura. Hinamori is best for him, too. That's my personal opinion anyway.

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah. Dreaded and dreaded but not really (just the early waking up) school. I've got a beautiful looking green star present now on my progress chart. Can you actually believe it? Nicole having a star on the second week of the first quarter? It's supposed to occur on the third week but the Lord keeps on showering his blessings upon me, and I am so glad and happy and unnervous. I think my demerits' gone up to ten, since I am really not good in doing my assignments.

A group of individuals decided to offer an oral report in order for them to acquire a great privilege called the "Privilege C" resulting for them not being required to raise the Philippine flag in order to score their work. Girl, I miss those kind of days. (Actually, even after all my stupid whatnots, I still tend to get a privilege, only not in that grand way like talking topics in front with only an outline and not something memorized and written word for word, because sadly, that's only the field I could prove myself on.)

After each report, we are asked to comment or suggest or critique about the reports, when I suddenly got the urge to stand up twice, because I really wanted to voice my thoughts out, since most definitely I'm not the type of person who let mistakes be done twice, and I really, really felt the need to help. So I spoke. With my heart falling down to my feet then going up to my head in a speed of 20 miles/hour, I managed to get through without heavy internal damage. Thank the Lord for His awesome goodness.

So yeah, Jayne documented the first week on her blog (in her perspective, though its differences with mine are slim to none), so it's not really needed to have another update full of rants and endangered terms. You could see Joboy's blog too, if you want a transfer student's point of view.

I gotta go, need to read something.
(RED ALERT! .hack//g.u.+
HASEO!)
God bless.

--

P.S.
I am doing a friendly oneshot of the odd pairing of Joboy and Michael.

Random fiction,
done because of my boredom.
Joboy x Michael fanfic.
"Handling the Hand-me-down"
Friendly, or should I say.. scary.
Genre- General

Watch out for it.

Afterlife

2008-06-24T13:02:00.000+08:00

I was, yet again, inspired. :)
Para kay MJ ulit 'to, kasi isa syang maging na manunulat.
And yeaas, his work pwns. You better try reading it sometime soon.
Though you'd find it quite amusing, if you personally know me.
More power to you, dear fella there!

A/N: This type of writing may seem not to follow the rules of grammatical english, and is not familiar to newbies at fanfiction.net, or those who haven't even been on the site. The SasuSaku fandom contains a lot of these types (like definite thoughts running on one's head) and you would find them a little more emotional and stuck in twilight at the same time, so, try to understand it, okay? :D

A/N: The bold and italic words are my composition. There are no owners of them, well, it's more likely to be me. :))

--

Afterlife
by nhix

--

The waves of the seas calmly reach the shore in silent recognition.

Silent.

Untainted.

Filled with mercy.

Quiet.

Your feet are bare, and you let the waters dig you in the white, creamy sand.

let the earth be opened

swallow me whole

give me another life.

You are now far away, far away to the world that has been torturing you senselessly.

Senselessly that they could make you insane and unable to think clearly.

And you know this time that you couldn't--wouldn't reach her.

I am undeserving..too helpless..

You try reachingoutreachingoutreachingout but still can't feel the radiance of her smile..

Why try?

Only to fail?

Your futile efforts are your rewards for your own futile efforts.

I haven't forgottenforgotten.. you cried out deeply within your mind. But I must forget.

You don't like going in circles because you are straightforward, yet love is a different thing to you.

Unique,

unknown,

foreign.

After all this time trying to evade the inevitable, you are now going on circles.

my insides are crawling, stumbling, falling

catch me

for an afterlife.

You wondered now why she met you first.

"Hi, why are you here alone?"

You wondered if you could somehow turn back time.

Because fate had been rather cruel to you..

"I was looking for my mother.."

this definition of heartbreak,

i can't seem to understand

take my breath away

i need an afterlife.

But all is lostlostlost and you couldn't see her shadow..not anymore.

"Hey best friend, guess what! I find someone I could love now!"

You have to let go, let go let go.

"Oh, that's nice."

Since the truth hurts too much.

So you are unsure if you could forget..

Forgetting the memories shared, painfully regretting the time you had met her.

No, I must not hate her, I'm her best friend.

You looked in your fisted trembling hands, and your body shook ungracefully. But now you don't care if anyone sees.

They don't know you, because it was only her.

So for the first time in years..

give me an afterlife

i would sacrifice anything for it

so let my memories fade away.

I would keep it secret. This secret called my best friend.

And the thought that I always wanted to be with her.

You cry.

make me real.

2008-06-23T19:54:00.000+08:00

one day, with the right timing.. i might simply be able to write something like this. but for now, let's settle for the greater, because it was never the greatest that mattered the most.

make me real

by miss aerith

(--she didn't belong anywhere.)

her mother knew she was different the moment she escaped her body. her body opened up like a heaving flower; her voice silent among the rivers of red and water; her hair bright like the blossoms; her eyes green and wet.

she didn't scream. she touched; she reached, she grabbed her mother's hands with her tiny petal-flower fingers and the mother looked into her and found her speaking to her in whispers that came from her little-beat-beating heart.

'am i a pretty baby, mama? i'm here.' she seemed to whisper it as soft as the wind; with her heart-voice; and kanna knew she loved her. Sakura, she named her, and she stared up into her soft cotton-candy downy head; like feathers, like angel-wings that were starting to spread out.

'she grew up strange,' kanna always said, sipping on the fifth glass of vodka, looking into the glass of silver-fire and forgetting about angel-heads and pink-hair, forgetting about moist green eyes that always looked like they were crying. the man beside her shifted on the sheets, the smoke hot and thick like fire in her veins.

'she's your daughter isn't she?' he asked her once, and she smiled a little smile that's as bitter as the candy-sweet fire that burns spark-hot down her throat. 'she looks too much like him, y'know, cheating bastard,' and she watches the liquid swish greedily like a tide around the glass. he's quiet, and he should be because she did her job, didn't she?

she's a fairy-child, with little legs and a tiny body; with the same moist-green eyes except they're shadowed by cheap make-up she buys at the store, filling her bag she purposely splattered with paint with revlon and maybelline, gem-colors, gem-stones like magic talismans that gleam emeralds and pinks that match the tattoo-image of her face. her hair was short now. when her mom came home with words actually in her mouth instead of moans, she handed her fifteen dollars and for a second fingered the strands of pink-cotton hair, as if trying to remember the angel wings and tear-drop eyes.

when her hand drops, sakura's breathing becomes shallow, and her eyes suddenly become dry. she asked for a few inches, but the man was too busy staring at her with wonder, at the little plump lips, the pale face that gleamed like snowflakes in the light, and he spoke to her softly.

you're a fairy-girl, you are. could be bald and you'd still look like a flower--

he chopped it a few inches below her chin.

she wept for it bitterly.

ino laughed.

III

she walked in on her when she was sixteen. she was wearing checkered vans and the same tight jeans that were still somehow too big on her lithe little legs that were as pale and thin as cream-covered icicles. she heard moans, like growls the reminded her of the huge snakes and demons that visited her in her dreams, dragging her down with fanged skeleton kisses. but skeltons didn't have pink hair, and they didn't have foggy blue eyes that were always caught between remembering and forgetting.

her mother looked at her, the cheap smear of her makeup cascading like ink down her cheeks, like spilt paint that didn't clean up right away in art class except sakura never paid attention in that class so it didn't matter--but she remembered looking at her blankly, at the splayed flesh and tanglement of limbs; and walking quietly up the stairs.

'ino?'

'took you long enough to call. we're heading out at seven.'

'okay.'

'something wrong?'

'nothing, let's just blow this shit.'

as she reached for the zipper of her jacket, she stared curiously at her breasts, wondering exactly what was so fascinating about them that made her mother able to find enough pleasure to forget her completely.

when she dances, she likes to drink herself silly. she likes to blur her little body and pretend it's something more. she winds around the bigger bodies like clay, easily molded and easily formed, so soft and fragile, --(angel wings)--she forgets about ino and about the lady with the cloudy blue eyes and she forgets about her little wings, that she's positive have shattered and crashed, like crushed flowers to the multi-colored floor. and as she locks lips with a nameless face, she's pretty sure that another feather just fell.

through the crowd she finds him.

the lights were playing across his face, and the word comes to mind so quick and so soft from her lips that she drops the hand she was holding, (whoever it was) so small, so little--

angel--

she read about them, she still does. she reads about angels, real angels, with calm faces and beautiful bodies and wings that shine like the sun, wings that somehow she knows her mother believed her to have. (gone, gone gone) she walks towards him, slowly, stumbling, marveling in the cold perfection of his face, like a sheet of perfect snow, soft not yet fallen on with writhing bodies desperate to cover up in creamy-white. or how dark and black his hair was, like spilt ink,but the kind she saw on old writing, the kind where you still wore old clothes, clothes that were soft and tied with bows..

'dance with me?'

he looked at her, staring at the girl who wore a little gauzy white dress, her upper body covered with a pink and red-striped jacket that looked like a candy-cane gone wrong. she tilted her head and smiled at him, although she seemed more like a child than anything else, with her big-green eyes, (they looked like they were crying.) she gasped, her breathing like a puff of white snow, because his eyes were gorgeous-pretty-beautiful, the kind she remembers looking at in in books where they told about lords and ladies and demons and angels--(angels,angels,angels), they were slanted, as if painted by charcoal, the irises splashed in perfect circles that were perfectly hypnotizing, like the eyes of a god.

'more here for a friend--'

he replies, and she smiles because he has a deep voice, not a husky one, not a moaning one, not one like ino that got higher when they drank too much or took too much, but one that cool, like a rushing waterfall on the bottom of the rocks. she blinked childishly, before saying sweetly, the lights reflecting her eyeshadow that glowed like slicked cotton-candy.

'you don't know how.'

he blinks at her curiously, but to her it was more like two luxurious bats of his thick-black licorice eyelashes.

'--i'm trying not--'

she grabs his arm, and he curses, but to her it was music.

he fumbles and trips but suddenly she transforms into something beyond a something. she became the dance, she twisted and weaved around his body, it wasn't ballet, it wasn't pop, it wasn't anything at all but it was everything. the lights fell on their forms, his slowly moving with her, trying to keep up, and hers, head thrown back, pink-hair lit like spark-hot lights and her glittering mouth wide and inviting.

the dance ends, but she wasn't finished.

they were outside the club. she's still small, still little, with baby-shoulders and her jacket falling off her body, but she's panting, her skin glinting like diamonds and her lips bruised from her teeth biting them so hard.

'you're perfect. what's your name?'

he stares at her, and he forgets about his own life, with his own brother, of perfection and pretty mother of encouragement, and his father who frownsfrownsfrowns--because from the look of the girl with ripped jacket and the smell of blossoms and alcohol, she has neither.

'--we're not going to meet again--'

'your name, silly. i'm sakura.'

'--sasuke.'

' no last name? s'okay. in the world, my own name don't really matter either. i'm just a pile of shit on the road, if you know what i mean.' he would have corrected her, that he was a uchiha, somehow that stood a chance in the world if only by looks, name, and money. something about the sight of a girl with frayed pink hair and moist green eyes smeared with too much make-up but oddly beautiful was painful.

'..this is the part where you say, nice to meet you, yes, i'm a real person sakura, i didn't imagine you--'

he stares at her, with her tear-filled green eyes and her cracked voice, like broken rose petals. she wouldn't survive in the real world, probably five years from now she would still be on this same street, dancing wildly with her moist-eyes and her crying voice, that although was so bright and happy it screamed, 'save me, i'm cursed'.

she stares at him, with her broken lips and eyes. 'i want you to kiss me.' she whispers quietly. 'because if you're real, maybe you might kiss me back, and maybe we might make love but maybe not. because real people only do that, and statues can't because they don't exist. or maybe you're too much of an angel.'

he tells her that he's sorry, that he can't, and he doesn't say that her pleas are different from the girls that throw themselves at him like cheap-perfume, but that tears his heart a little, and for a moment she thinks that she can see something in the cold eyes, so frozen, stiff.

she gets closer to him, her breath like silk on his neck and her little white arms wrapped around his body, taking a shaky breath, taking in the expensive suit, the tie, trying to hear a heartbeat and trying to find a life in the empty eyes. he doesn't say anything, because his arms are slack, and she smiles as she whispers,

'someday, you'll become real. i'll breath life into you and you'll become a real person.'

a few tears fell onto his shirt.

when he asked her why she was crying, she didn't say anything, only whispered,

'because this is the closet to heaven i will ever get. after all, angels aren't here forever.'

she went home that night, looked up everything she knew about angels. she spoke softer, tried to tame the long strands of hair that hung in front of her ears, and lay limp swept across her forehead. she read it hungrily, devoured it, stared at her hands and smiled as she realized with total cheerfulness submerged in utter hopelessness.

sinner.

she tried to wear less wild clothes, and when she went to school and boys that remembered her weaving around them at night forgot entirely about her at day. ino still offered her a stick now and then and she would take it, but she decided to suck more on a lollipop on most days because if she did, maybe when she could kiss him and make him real, she might taste entirely of blossoms and light and not of sin and failure.

because he's perfect, and she was not.

she found him again on the beach.

he was sitting under an umbrella, and she was curious because angels liked the sunshine and the last time she checked didn't angels embrace the sunshine? she stared at him curiously, saying, 'didn't know you liked the beach. but i thought angels liked the sun.' he stares at her blankly, with his lifeless eyes and she quietly sits beside him. she tells him about her life, about her mother, who told her she had angel wings but then once her father walked out decided she was a cursed thing, and cast her away, or about how she found her sleeping with men when she came home, or about how ino wasn't really her friend but she went to parties because she liked dancing and helping people forget about things when she danced.

'what about you?'

he stares at her blankly, and says nothing.

he's silent, he doesn't say much, doesn't tell much, but she comes to visit him at the beach anyway. she tells him stories about a little girl with angel wings who wanted to dance for the sun but the sun was too bright and she got burned, or how she fell in love with a frozen angel that forgot how to talk and to love, and when she asked him if she could dance/make love to him, he said no.

he didn't say anything to her, instead looked ahead with his blank black eyes, like pools of ink and she smiled as she continued, telling about the mother who lived in an apartment of kisses and moans and whose daughter had to make her own lunches and her own dinners and her own way, and had to look out for herself. Sasuke still says nothing, but quietly places a hand on her head and gently pats her, and when she feels him touch her, she feels like she's fallen into angel-heaven, with the lights and everything, and as she looks into his beautiful-cold-god eyes, she thinks maybe there's something growing.

VII

'i'm engaged.'

she looks at him, with his hunched shoulders and his fancy school uniform, that's black like him and dark like him but he's still as white as an angel and her breath kind of stops in her throat and she stops sitting in his lap and instead looks at him with her baby-girl eyes and whispers, 'why?'

he shakes his head and says it's arranged but he kind of almost smiles sadly at her and fingers a piece of her pink hair and whispers that he is no angel at all, and tells her she's annoying and that she should try to get a life better than the one she has now, because he is no angel and he cannot save her.

the sunset was cold and hard on her back, like warm glass shards cutting into her skin with blood like tears that were sprinkled all over her face and she was a mess. she stood and stared at him with her quiet eyes, that were moist and hurt and broken and she smiled a little sadder as she gently fingered his cheek and says, 'now your wings are clipped. don't worry about me, because i'm a sinner, i'm a failure. i just liked sitting under your wings, that's all. even if i couldn't get you dance. or kiss me. '

even if he never made love to her in a million years, she still thinks it would have been okay if he just sat beside her and let her quietly bathe in the beauty of his silence.

when she comes home crying with tears on her face her mother is sane and strokes her hair whispering, 'sorry baby, ' and sakura thinks her voice sounded like a broken old music box, tired of playing the same old song.

she doesn't tell her about the boy and the beach and the dances and how he never ever kissed her.

she doesn't tell her that she thinks she's going to have to say goodbye to an angel.

the next day he doesn't come to the beach.

she sits there for a moment and then she cries a little, because she's back to being dirty and lonely Sakura, without her angel-Sasuke who was never really hers, but was still something so utterly beautiful that she pretended he was. when she finds the umbrella though, with the empty mat where she would perch child-like between his legs, a note.

'maybe i'll fly someday after all.'

she cries more for himself, because she really wanted to see him fly with her.

VII

She's nineteen.

She left her hair still gum-bubble pink and sometimes in her classes, she would paint the tips of them yellow while scribbling pictures of her angel-boy in the margins of her papers. she's finally in college, not a big college, but enough, since her mother somehow finally decided to look at her child with her wide-sad-baby emerald eyes and then cries because she remembers her angel hair and her white-skin and her soft silent voice as she entered the world with her tear-drop eyes.

she's going to be a dancer.

she's going to become something else in front of all sorts of people, not in the way of colored lights and broken glasses, but instead under one big light with just one big stage and one little form bending and weaving around nothing and creating it out of something broken. something beautiful. she likes to think that maybe if she dances enough her angel-boy might come back free, might come back real.

She's twenty and she's tired. Dance practice is hard on her little girl ankles but she's still the best in her class and her tests are really hard, and she can't read as well as most people but she's trying, and her teachers loved her for it.

she still sometimes dreams about him, with his sad dark empty eyes that begged her to make him whole. she sometimes dreams about the demons in her sleep but most of all she thinks of him and his lonely voice that she hardly heard, but sometimes could find in the blackness of his eyes, gently telling her, gently promising her, one day we'll meet again.

She's on the bus. She is twenty-one. She doesn't have enough money for a car right now because lessons are taking all she has. She runs into someone on the subway and the face she thinks she's seen before. She almost drops her bag of study-books because the man is looking at her intensely behind this thick cascade of dark-ink hair, and there's something familar about his lips because they look like they don't speak often.

she runs away.

'sakura.'

she's afraid to turn around as she runs blindly from the bus-stop,
the stars on her back and in her eyes and in her tears.

'sakura.'

she dreamed of him saving her but she never dreamed of him saying her name. she didn't dream about what it would sound like. instead she just sags, feeling frozen by the deep and trembling sound of the voice. she hears foot-steps, turns, and he's there.

her angel-boy. her frozen angel. her sasuke.

she looks at him with broken eyes, seeing that he's alot taller, alot more frightfully beautiful, and he tells her in a voice not often used that he broke it off, and he's not going to get the inheritance and his older brother is five times better than he is but he doesn't care because--

'you cried to me. all the time. you danced into rose-bushes with thorns and every night you bled in my dreams.' he tells her softly, and she steps away from him, and he looks at her pleading at her: still in her dancing shoes and tattered gray skirt, still in her white tank-top and her over-used gemstone eyeshadow, with her glossy-star lips.

'--i think--i think i love you--'

he tells her, and his black-ink eyes are shining, and she's afraid because she thinks he's almost alive. he's almost human. she steps towards him and whispers,' i wanted to find you. but you left me. you weren't ready for me. you're supposed to be my angel, but i couldn't make you real and i couldn't make you stay.' and he pleads with her in his eyes.

'it wasn't the right time--now it is.'

and as sasuke kisses sakura, it's more than candied-fire explosion-flavors, it's your favorite bubble-gum and it's flowers-opening, it's something dying but something living, and it's five-times better than buying cheap clothes with ino at a thrift-store or studying alone in a one-roomed dorm and it's even better than beaches and sunsets.

it's the two of them finally becoming alive, fully human and fully whole.

The immediate and curt reaction.

2008-06-15T17:50:00.000+08:00

I SUCK.

AND YES, HARDER THAN THAT STUPID PIECE OF SOCK.

AND I NEED TO SULK TOO.

*shouts to random people* GET ME A CHAIR AND LET ME SIT. I CANNOT BREATHE.
I PULPITATE. I BLEED. I NEED NOT SHOW ANY MERCY.

The dumb me, for all curiosity, decided to go to Ate Sam's multiply page to see what's happening there. Having to see that her blog's up, I clicked the DREADED blog link. And I came upon this..this..this..BLASPHEMY.

(writing credit goes to Ate Sam)
Kasi pini-picture-an namin si Ysabel with the younger version of Naruto. Eh yun biglang may bumangga sakin sa likod. Eh maluwag naman yung space and since feeling ko naman some stupid people with a white shirt and a weird hairstyle lang yung bumangga sakin, so I just shrugged it off like nothing happened. Pero I heard something, like, a whispered "sorry." Kaya yun talagang hindi ko pinansin kasi sobrang cute na cute ako dun kay Ysabel. Tapos yun, right after binangga niya ako, like, 2 seconds later, binangga niya ako ulit. Eh yung second bangga niya eh napalakas na nabangga ko narin si Jeremy na katabi ko kaya yun, nag-violent reaction na ako, like, with a scowling face and words somewhere along, "Ay, grabe, ano ba yan?!" Tapos, oh, pagtingin ko si MIGUEL! Tapos yun napatingin rin siya sakin sabi niya "Oh, sorry!" Syempre sa panlabas ko parang hindi ako natinag na siya yun at parang tipong naiirita parin ako sa naulit niyang bangga sakin... pero deep inside ako ay... "OMG, nabangga ako ni Miguel! Not only once... but TWICE!!!"

GRABE SAYANG NICOLE WALA KA!!

..and that awakening, powerful and shocking, to the point of degrading and constipation, shouted different varieties of warning to my head. I was like, pulpitating and I didn't know what to do and I fail as an addict to miss that kind of scene unfolding for the depths of my lovable and graceful dark brunette orbs to understand. OH THE HORROR. OH MY PAIN.
DO YOU FEEL MY PAIN? NO? THEN FEEL IT!

...

I don't know how to calm down. And I don't plan anytime soon.
Have a nice dream, everyone. Hope my misery reaches you.

With gurgling noises and continuously doing acts 'psychoism',
nhix.

P.S: I r insane. You back away a bit.
Because I r killing cockroaches.
And the legs I r tearing off may kill you.

Opinion on SasuSaku. XD

2008-06-12T19:32:00.000+08:00

--

WARNING. If you don't like SasuSaku, don't read further. We may fight.

--

Opinion on SasuSaku LOL. XD

Almost all of this were compiled and copy-pasted, I rephrased some of it though.. But here's the deal.

I have a feeling that without the revenge and all that stuff, Sasuke would have felt something a bit deeper than friendship for Sakura. Would have that is. XD In the anime they were friends, yes. But if the revenge and all the Orochimaru stuff and all of the etc. not happened, then they are together right now.. You know the reason why?

Every moment that they had are always centered around them, and them alone. Why make Naruto unconscious for a day without a particular reason at all? Why is Naruto preoccupied most of it?

I rewatched the Haku and Zabuza arc a few hours ago, and I noticed something on the episode Sasuke awoke from his near-death state. It was Sakura who cried and called out his name for him to realize that he's still alive.

Episode 30 was the moment of Sasuke getting the cursed seal, and guess what. It's Sakura with him because Naruto had fainted, after Orochimaru sealed the Kyuubi again. Why emphasize on that if there's no significance?

The manga displayed Sasuke's pain better than the anime. It was priceless to see Sasuke seeking Sakura's help/comfort and the moment they combine their hands shows the deep relationship they have.

Two episodes after that, while Naruto's still unconscious, Sasuke awakens and utters the words, "Who the hell did that to you?" to Sakura, his face turning sinister when Zaku proudly said that it was his doing. Later on that episode too, why put that hugging-to-stop-Sasuke thing, it could have been just a call, or maybe Sakura would have just cried in the place where she sat and Sasuke would turn to her..

But no. Sakura needed to come and hug him. Right?

My favorite part was the moment on the tower, The Chuunin Prelim scene, in which Sakura shows just how selfless she is. I mean, it pains her, so much, to see him suffer. She's cried over him several times, but no matter meek her voice may have sounded, she raised her hand and was willing to go against his wishes if it meant he would survive, or at least, suffer a little less. After a few handful of sentences, Sasuke replied to her, "I can't forgive, even you.. If you take that away from me." So it's like her opinions matter to him more than the others. The manga words was much better with the "Even you," later repeated by Shikamaru, but the anime voices were spectacular as well.

When they lock eyes and stare, as if for a moment [ another, if you remember their hug in FoD ], only they exist, the anime does the better job of portraying the hurt in his eyes. Hurt. He really feels something, there, and it's wonderful because it's showing, however subtle, Sasuke's reaction and feelings [ whatever they may be ] for Sakura. Compare the screencap with the manga panel; the anime wins for that one. He looks so... sad.

There was a moment too.. The manga's version of the scene where Sasuke tells Sakura Naruto saved her. The anime destroyed the moment completely, but this is one of the few scenes in the manga which openly displays that Sakura's admiration is important to Sasuke. If he was indifferent to it, he would not have been closely watching her face as she looked at Naruto - he wouldn't have had any reason to look at her at all. For all that he constantly rejects her feelings, this scene underlines that he's very aware of them, that he regards them as _his_.

Somehow, I feel the SasuNaru moments were because they were best friends, and they have too much similarities and differences that they connect really well. But that's really twisted though. No offense, but Sasuke and Naruto? They are best of friends, and could be nothing more. Because they are both boys. (I felt weird after writing the last sentence, it's like..it all explained what I said.)

Addition:Sakura was shown carrying an axe in one of Kishi's early 'artier' page spreads. Just like that Sasuke playing a flute thing. And Sasuke was shown flying on a hawk (with Sakura clinging to him :D ) in an early page too.

Anyway, anyway. There's a post by phoenix-blood in the SasuSaku forums that I don't want to butcher, so you could read it whole.

--

On the manga-anime differences:

I think the FoD hug was drawn better in the anime, but after a while, I kind of preferred it in the manga. Maybe it's because panels are limited, so you're directed where to focus. And I love the two panels close up on each of their eyes, and then the hug surrounded by white space. Although the same was done in the anime - I think it's more effective in manga form. But the hug itself was drawn better in the anime.

It was already mentioned about the lack of finger interlocking in the anime D: and telling from Sakura's perspective when it was Sasuke's in the manga for him telling her it was Naruto who saved her. The extra almost smile was nice in the manga when Sasuke boosts Sakura's confidence pre-chuunin.

Thank you scene I like both manga and anime pretty equally.

The scene I think got most butchered in the anime was the hospital scene. In the anime, Sakura is crying and hugging Sasuke, Naruto starts to say something and stops - and what you're given is a crying Sakura hugging a stoned Sasuke. So it seems Naruto leaves the room because of Sakura only - which was still nice recognition and made me smile watching the anime first, but was a lot more one sided to Sakura's part.

In the manga, Sasuke is aware of his surroundings, and by the panel layout - it seems it's Sasuke Naruto is reacting to, not Sakura. Sakura was already crying and hugging when Naruto started talking - why would that make him suddenly stop and look surprised? We then see what made Naruto surprised in the next panel - Sasuke's expression. It gives an impression of not one-sidedness, but the change between Sasuke and Sakura.

I'm not saying it's definitely romantic on Sasuke's part, or SasuSaku is already canon or anything. But there are a few scenes like this that make you wonder exactly what is going on in his head and how exactly he feels. And Naruto thought there was enough of *something* there to drop what he was saying and leave the room.

In general, I think Sasuke and Sakura have had a number of scenes where even if it isn't concretely two-sided, you have to wonder why Kishi always chooses those two to be in physical contact, or have an emotional impact, or worry about the other, etc.

--

PWN eh? :D I'm sorry for that immense research. XD

Creature's Notes

2008-06-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

A/N One~
First off by the way, my blog is really getting a bit crowded because of the nonsense I'm putting in it, and I am very sorry that you've got no choice but to cope up with my writing stupidity since I have a feeling I would give off an aura like this for a couple of weeks, or maybe months. Expect weird creations and less stories and facts of life from me. It's nice to be tagged though at times, just tell me if you did put me. :)

A/N Two~
.: The latest two is just summaries. The last one is like a finished thing but not really. My mind showers itself with nice ideas and it drains mostly the 50% of the part my brain functions. (This sentence, you may or may not get it. But I hope you do.)

A/N Three~
Planned and thought of a bit more than what it actually looks like.
Sorry 'bout that.

-

Fulfillment.

In life where there is no happily ever after, just painful hangers in between, one lives quietly and peacefully near the shores of a very, shallow lake. She speaks to the trees and sits on the rocks in deep resolution that a passerby would probably think the person is one with nature.

--

Climbing to the Staircase.

Time is short, and the world revolves around it. In the two thousandth year of his promise, a little part of his message is sent to the place he refused with hatred. To bring it back to its original state, and to make him finally to let go and move on.

--

In the Stranger's Wrath. OneShot.
Chapter One: Of departure and the unknown.

You stand slowly, but surely. You decide on chin up, hands are on the form of fists, you breathe, mouth open, as you utter the words you force yourself to admit.

"I love you so."

She is entering a stage of shock, and you find your revelation hanging on the air, struck cold of the next words that would leave the mouth of the one true person you treasure.

You feel her intense pressure as her breathing shallows, and you wish that you haven't done what you did. You hope for the turning back of time, the uncomplicated moments.. Its resurrection you inwardly cry out. But revival would not come any sooner, as you finally face her in the real clash of truth.

I hoped for you and I, yet it ended up as you.
And as me.

"..But..I..don't."

And the whole light of your world came crashing down on you.

Your body organs almost fail you, your muscles destroy the fortification of your knees, as they loudly beg for something to lean on to. You look at her and her soft, glowing eyes whisper forgiveness, and seek clemency, but you are unsure of what to give to her right now.

Radiate hate out of your love?

Or still love out of the hatred you try keeping within your heart?

You choose.

Randomization to the third power..

2008-06-10T10:00:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Joboy once again~ Answer the following briefly.

1. Where do you study?
- I'm ever faithful to the Flockers. :)) JFA!

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
- I'll ask if he really wants to wait for me that much. If he does, then he's 'a' right guy for me, and my heart decides. ;)

3. What if you can't tell someone how you feel exactly about him?
- Then I'll wait for the opportune moment. It comes directly and smacks your face in heavy recognition after patience.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
- At times, but everything's clear if it's the Lord directing, so there's nothing to be confused of.

5. Who's your ideal lover?
- He waits, he loves, he conquers, and he follows God. That's the best guy one could ever have! :)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
- Can I choose both?

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
- Yeah, most probably. I wanna do my best, yet I won't take too much risks in doing so. So I'll just wait. [Wait concept ata ito ah. Hahaha]

8. What was the weirdest question asked to you?
("being" confused the sentence a lot so I'll erase it. Since present verbs at times proclaim verb confusion when fused with a past one.)
- "Have you really ever thought about your problems?" Boy, Mom, you won't really wanna know how much.

9. What is your cellphone number?
- I forgot. :))

10. What do you want most in life?
- A successful family and a very deep relationship with Christ.

11. Is being insulted fun?
- At times. I want to insult more though. Hi Jayne! Hahaha.

12. Your dream house?
- A simple one, with an entertainment room, a bedroom, a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, and.. I wanna see the heavens' colors combining with the mountains' from the balcony in my room. Since that's the scenery I wanna see last.

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
- My family of course, and God too.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
- Frankly speaking, I think he's kind of feminine. But I don't know..
(..nagdoubt? XD)

15. Do you want to die?
- Not this time. But later. After 80 years.

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
- It's like in the animes.. Well, good love stories start that way. :)) So I'll just hope he remembers me sooner or later.

17. Would you give your all in your dreams?
- I do not really know..

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
- I'll let the two go. :))

19. What type of friends do you like?
- I choose friends who love God.

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
- I freak out at times. I tend to do a prank very, very wicked most of the time, earning me ten thousand guilt cells. LOL.

SIX TAGGED~ AND WHY.

Kayo nalang bahala sa inyong mga sarili. :) Natag na ata yung mga taong gusto kong itag.

Excalibur

2008-06-08T19:53:00.000+08:00

The dreaded city of the black mages.

The Pacific Ritual's origin.

The magicians' beginning.

Where the games of life was at its best.

..

Excalibur.

..

The empire's reason of ruin.

The definition of death.

--

A foreign family swept past the streams of Valherra as thunderous magic summoned by the elders bolted up the heavens in a futile attempt to calm the vengeful, three horned brute that had decided to penetrate the last of the race by descending from its prison on the stars.

"¡Tontos!" Garbed in futuristic, ebony robes, they showered the people with warnings and allocation. "¿Sabe usted que el cielo venga prácticamente sus ruinas?"

Response were abrupt and panic-filled. "¡Sabemos! ¡Sabemos!"

--

Now, how am I suppose to continue this type of fanfiction? I can't get this part out of my head, but I can't seem to fortify a continuation for it. Any ideas?

Injustice

2008-06-06T05:08:00.000+08:00

Injustice
[Alternate Universe, Set to the Future] We fail to see the consequences when we're in love. Although the truth is that we ignore its call of deceiving glory.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Prologue: Stripes of Pain.

_____________________________________________________________________________

"Why are you walking away from me? Why now?"

She calmly asks the reason why he's letting their relationship go, and he states stoically, but with a look on his eyes that betrays his facade,

"Because we're not ready."

"Not ready?" In the statement, the girl finds herself unable to keep her emotions at bay any longer. "You were the one that proposed to me and I said yes because I love you! I need you so much, and you're a special person to me!"

Turning a hundred and eighty degrees to face the woman he treasures, he silently responds, "That's the problem. I'm a special person."

"What? What do you mean?"

He bitterly laughs and mutters, "I'm just a special person. It was never me who was the most important person."

Gathering her fragile hands on his calloused ones, his solemn orbs set upon the girl with a heartbroken expression that she can't muster up the courage to look upon his face. "You love him, don't you? He's your special person, is he?"

In his despair, his fists tighten inconsiderately that the woman struggles to break free from his touch.

"P-please.. let go, you're hurting me." Tears splashes from her dull pools and the guy, even though he desperately wants not to hurt her, ignores the weak action of tugging. "I can't. You need to listen to me first."

--

This is my first ever cheesy fanfic. :)) It's dramatic too. XD
Marla x Michael fanfic. To be continued. :)

Daybreak

2008-06-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

Ito ang tunay na chronicle. Alas, maiksi pa ung kay Jayne compared dito. Natakot ako after reading mine. LOL! Ang haba, torture. :))

--

I was suggested by Jayne, Sam, and Jem to write a chronicle about today. Well, it's kinda a bit weird, so.. I'll just have to put in my language, pero may english parin. After all, who reads this without knowing tagalog? XD

Ganto kasi yun mga dude. We planned another photoshoot dahil "fail yung una," these words came from our own photographer who was feeling that the heavens were against her at that time. Haha, her irritable mood lead to a bit arguments between her and the very own sister of hers. Thank God for the fight's early trip to oblivion.

Dumating kami ng LRT na gutom na gutom by the way. Di ko nga alam kung pano pa ako nakarating ng buhay e. Di ako nagcocomplain nun kasi baka uminit na naman mga ulo ng kasama ko, pero talagang ako'y in despair na. Buti nalang andyan si Jayne, sagad ang kabaitan sa panlilibre. Nilibre kami ng Japanese siomai! Biro mo yun, lahat pa kami. WOW. :)) And also, record time ito. First time namin na maunang makarating sa meeting place, we were before Ate Sam.. and it's a nice omen. Even though she said that she'd be late too. ^^;

So yun, nag photoshoot kami. Ako nagbayad ng tricycle namin, ibig sabihin, di ito tulad nung iba naming labas. Ayos ang pera ko ngayon! Bwahaha. Anyway, we held it sa Marikina Sports Center again, like the first one dahil kamuntik na sana yung mga shots na nagawa ni Jayne nun, pero di natanggap most so uulitin namin. Ate Sam ran with all her might, Jem tried to learn with all her strength, and Jayne.. well.. she decided that she can't still jog a whole lap sa oval. Pero ayos lang yan Jayne. Bawi tayo next time. Hahahaha! I was on the background taking pictures, kaya lang dinidelete ko rin naman. For aliw purposes lang naman kasi yun.

After calling it a day, we have agreed to go dun sa McDonalds sa tapat ng center. Maayos naman ang kain namin, pwera nalang yung nakasalamuha ni Ate Sam na empleyado dun na kabagal naman daw talaga, eh bilang isang gutom na tao at pagod pa, hindi na sya nakapagpigil at nasabihan nya ito. Hahaha, the cashier person got a taste ng isa sa mga Ate Sam's 'famous' scolding. :)) We were like talking about different topics until these came upon one person (alam ni Jem, Ate Sam, Jayne, at ako yun. Wag na kayong magtanong, di nyo yun kilala) and me and Ate Sam decided to have him as our 'inspiration.' Crush, ika nga. Para malayo nga naman sya, diba.

Nung usap kami ng usap, nagsuggest ako na sa road nalang kami magusap, at medyo nagabi na. Jayne wants to walk a bit, so we obliged. Kaya lang in despair si Ate Sam dahil meron ata syang nastretch na muscle, dahil di sapat ang kanyang warm up kanina. So bumili pa kami ng Salon Pas. (Ganun ba talaga spelling nun? Hahaha! Pasensya na, para complete chronicle nilagay ko na rin yun) Naglakad kami, 'tas dinala namin si Jem sa favorite ni Jayne na place, yung maraming trees sa Marikina na malapit sa Red Ribbon dun at sa Sports Center.

Doon, may nakita kaming.. LOL.

And the fun starts here. Hahaha, not really pero. Nakakatawa lang na -experience kasi first time ko yun e.

Ate Sam went in front of us and said, "Tingin kayo sa 3:00 ko." So we looked at it, and we found a gorgeous 'back' if you'd like to put it that way. Maganda ang likod ng papa, kung sa lenguahe ng mga bading. Eh ang mga loko, nasa mood maging loko-loko. They decided to follow the boy and his companion. Natawa ako kasi kala ko di sila serious about it.. Pero.. nagulat ako pagtawid namin, SINUNDAN NGA. Hahahaa! Nung sinusundan namin nakakatawa, kasi parang yung lalaki lang yung nagiisang yellow na nakikita namin parepareho, 'tas nauuna si Jayne at Ate Sam.

Nakakatawa pa, si Ate Sam daw yata desididong makita yung mukha nung lalaki! HAHAHAHA. Nako, kung nakita nyo lang. Si Jayne naman nagdedeny pa.. pero wala tayong magagawa dong. Alam ko namang gusto mo rin.

Sinundan namin yung lalaki at friend nya. Sinasabi pa ni Jayne, na si Ate Sam daw ay tumakbo pa para mahabol talaga! HAHAHA. Nako naman oo.. so the boy stopped sa bilihan ng DVD. We challenged our dear Ate Sam to go dun sa stall, para makita talaga ang mukha, kung worth it talaga ang punta at pagsunod namin.. edi pumunta sya. We were standing like idiots sa sidewalk, inaantay sya. Feeling ko nga alam ng mga tao ang ginagawa naming kabalbalan e. HAHAHA. Nako.

Ate Sam went back to us with a rock-on sign on her hand. Kaming tatlo parang.. "Ano? Ano? Ano? Ayos ba?"

Alam mo sagot samin ni Ate Sam?

"Papa."

HAHAHAHA. Nako. Nagusap kami ng kaweirdohan before Jayne decided to go with ate Sam para bumalik at makita. Kunyari bibili lang kami ng DVD. Kala namin ni Jem di na namin makikita, biglang dumating, papunta sa direction namin. NAKO NANAY KO PO, gwapo nga. Hahaha. They ended up na mga weirdo 'tas kami ni Jem parang, "LOL." 'Tas tumalikod ako sa kanila at nagproclaim na di nila ako kilala. HAHA. Ate Sam kept on telling us na adventure, 'tas nagsabi ako sa kanila na ulitin yung experience next time. Kasi nakakatawa talaga. We feel like real fangirls. At long last. BWAHAHA.

After nun, sumakay kami ng tricycle hanggang robinsons. 'Tas nagmall kami. Plano ko pa magarcade pero kulang na sa oras. Bumili ako ng school supplies, pero disaster sa National. SOBRANG DAMING TAO. Hahaha, I almost got angry with one person that time. Di ko nalang sasabihin kung bakit. So anyway, yun. Mahaba ang pila, pero nalagpasan din namin. Thank you Lord!

Di pa nagtapos ang aking day dun. Kasi naalala ko. PATAY, walang susi ang nanay ko sa bahay. Ang utak ko in black chaos na talaga sa sobrang takot na baka andun na sya sa labas ng bahay, nagaantay, nagiinit ang ulo, nagpapaplano na di na ako palabasin ulit. Paguwi ko, nagring yung phone. Wala pa si Ma. Sabi ni Papa nandun pa raw sa Sta Lucia, naglalakad. Sabi ko buti naman, kasi kakauwi ko lang. Haaay. Buti nalang talaga. HAHAH.

Next time na ako maglalagay ng iba. Feeling ko sobrang haba na nitong update ko e. It took me thirty minutes to type. Mahaba-haba din no? Hope this satisfies your hunger for updates. LOL! The longest ever in my lifetime! Be proud, dear chronicle-sama.

--

May nakita ako kanina sa isang profile sa crunchyroll, nagandahan ako:

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

--

Ganda no? :D

Lifelong

2008-06-04T19:37:00.000+08:00

MJ. :) Para sayo ito dong! Nako. XD Hahaha! Inspired by a Marla x Michael fiction of Joboy. This is not of fluff, but of one's emotions seeing his world being taken away. XD A different approach from my frequent ones. :))

--

Lifelong
by nhix.

--

You smile at her and you say,

"Go. Have your happiness."

Deep within you, however, you realize that you're not sure if you're ready to let go.

But you have to.

You need to.

Her face would glow in radiance whenever the love of her life come, and you would sneak a glance at her.

A glance full of hope.

Full of longing.

Her beam was a graceful sight to see, and you couldn't help but wonder if you were a little too late, or maybe..

..Too early.

You watch from afar as she walks away, too tired to strode your way, too betrayed to let the sound out of your mouth, too burdened to fulfill your promise.

To find her happiness.

Because she's your happiness.

And you are despaired you're not hers.

You mutter a few incoherent sentences before turning your back on her, on your life. On your heart.

On your world.

Never looking back.

Your feelings you would try to forget, your emotions you would try to crush, your wails and cries you would try to destroy.

Since she couldn't see you like this.

You would forget everything. But you never regretted anything.

She looks back from where she was. And she finds..

..that you are not there anymore.

As the beginning comes to an end, you greet the ending's beginning.

Solace greeted you with a grin on its face.

You couldn't help but wish she was with you.

But you are glad.

Because finally..

She had found her happiness.

"Thank you so much, my best friend!"

And her happiness..

"You're welcome."

..Has been yours as well after all.

Naruto in his Failure

2008-05-14T08:07:00.000+08:00

______________________________________________________________________________

Naruto in his Failure
What if the hero failed even before the jealousy began? Uzumaki Naruto is about to find out. (NaruHina, SasuSaku)

______________________________________________________________________________

He cried for nights, for days, for months, for years.
I'm so sorry.

His thoughts were jumbled. The crescent moon glowed sinisterly to the earth, mocking his downright failure with nonchalance. He was sitting on the hard excuse of a cement bench, wandering off to lala land in pure, unachieved regret. This could have not happened if not for his honest and stupid mistake. This problem could have been solved easily if he wasn't there in the first place. But what now? Everything's could have beens and what ifs, he had nothing to do about it anymore. It had happened. Fate seemed to get its back on him that night.

Pathetic thinking, but who would disagree?

Clutching his head in utmost weary, the blonde boy of twelve held protectively the forehead protector his mentor had given him. After all, he had gone far just to have his hands on that dark azure cloth engraved with a symbol. Subdued as a Konoha ninja. A protector of the village.

And not a disaster bringer.

He found himself unable to move, his fingertips trembling involuntarily as he sighed.

--

Hmm. XD

Tagged..again.

2008-05-12T01:33:00.000+08:00

I was tagged by Mr. Petalburg. Nyahaha.

RULES:
A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.
B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

--

1. What was the last word/phrase you said?
: "Ganun pala ang nangyari kay Uchiha Itachi.."

2. What do you miss most?
: I miss the original Final Fantasy VII, and the good ol' days.

3. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
: Getting ready to go to the dentist.

4. What was the last movie you watched?
: King Kong. He pwns, especially that time when he protected the girl from three dinosaurs.

5. What's your ideal lover like?
: Looks like Sasuke, body like Cloud, personality like Zack, and an arrogant aura that makes him stand out like Dante. Hahaha.

6. What are you doing right now?
: Waiting for my PSP to go full battery.

7. Would you go after his/her looks?
: Well.. :D

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
: Then I had no choice but to let go, if the person wants me to do so.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
: Yeah, the ending of Crisis Core. It's so..sad.

10. does your crush have a crush?
: Of course. Oh wait, he's taken already!

11. Is being tagged fun?
: Sometimes. :)

12. Have you learned something new today?
: I learned that Hojo is one hell of a sadist.

13. What do you want to own right now?
: I want to own PS3 and Devil May Cry 4.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
: Isang malaking mambubulabog. Hahaha.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
: Could I choose rich and married? :D

16. What's your favorite C2 flavor?
: Lemon.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
: If God tells me to do so.

18. When was the last time you got starstruck?
: When I felt ate Arriane's presence. :D

19. What type of friends do you like?
: Hmm, as long as we could talk to each other, ayos na yun.

20. what was the title of the song you last listened to?
: Theme of Crisis Core: Dreams and Pride.

--

EIGHT TAGGED: AND WHY.

Err, uhmm.. I can't tag anybody. :D I don't know why. Probably because they're tagged already. Sorry to break the game.

Oh, Dear Prince!

2008-05-07T09:09:00.000+08:00

___________________________________________________________________________

Oh, Dear Prince!
Enter the Uchiha Kingdom! Where the prince has one hell of a brute ego, but every women’s, alive or dead, dream, and where the headmistress is much stricter and sarcastic than Cinderella’s stepmother, yet as beautiful as the princess herself! [AU SasuSaku]

Chapter One: Uchiha Kingdom – Where Hidden Agendas Pretend
___________________________________________________________________________

It was a sunny mid-afternoon in late July as multitudes of dominant leaders from different countries gathered inside the exquisite main foyer of the Grand Uchiha Palace.

Garbed in the most delicate, most luxurious dresses that existed, the nobles and their first ladies filled the main hall of the whole castle – The Focal Antechamber, which could also be called the Last Paradise; its name was an idea by the heir, Prince Itachi Uchiha.

The said foyer, infamous for its enormously towering upper limit, was located in the heart of the royally fashioned bastion. It consisted of dark jade walls with specks of radiated burgundy, an outsized chandelier in the midpoint of the crimson carpeted, five feet high stage, in the process made the hall full of glory and delight, yet pleasing to the eye. The olive ramparts extravagantly displayed eminent statuettes of the Royal ancestors, as these canvases of influential metaphors of the stately primary family in the country of Konoha were replicated in the luxurious floor, which were concentrated of glass and marble.

Assigned guards in full combat uniform filled half of the hall, serving deluxe wines. Distinguished in the rearranging of furniture were restraint that was emitted by hundreds of women in their silk, ashen dresses stroked with light illumination of ebony, to embody purity and submission to their master, whilst men butlers on the contrary were seen in their personal black suits, black chinos, claret ties and burnished leather shoes.

In the midst of the divine chaos inside the castle, chiefly the Focal Antechamber, every young individual of existence, with royal blood or not, male or female but with a desire, would certainly look through the mahogany, glass-oriented windows of the West Wing to get a glimpse of the notorious, austere than even the stepmother of Cinderella, yet as beautiful as the fairytale princess herself – the princess of distinctiveness, heir of the Haruno clan.

There she was, in all her ever present glory, in the spirit of frantic and scared out of their common sense servants.

Terrified, wide russet eyes slowly met furious lime orbs. “The golden altar was not scented with fragrance yet!” Pointing towards the north, the young lady of twenty struggled in her desperate attempt to lead the panicking maids. “How could you overlook that statement when I practically imposed the order for the hundredth time? Go faster, you imbeciles! His Majesty and his family would come in a few minutes!”

Tasting the slab brought near to her, she suddenly shouted. “Argh! You are all brainless!” And to the maids’ utmost despair, she was not done with her thunderous and extremely sober comments.

“Please, tell the head chef to lessen the sugar that he put on the cake!” Her authoritative and hostile voice made the servants back away in their scare, “Our youngest prince would likely be as disappointed as a cat who hadn’t had a mouse for dinner if he tastes the most littlest,” a cringing was present in the acts of her apprentices, she was emphasizing a point, they knew, but no one would dare to point out that mistake of redundancy, and that, my friends, she knew too. “…sweet flavor that his glorious tongue wouldn’t like!” her eyes flaring with sternness, then added a quiet, bitter, “If that ‘dull-witted’ creature even wastes his time to taste it,” avowal for implication, yet regaining her composure once again and people surrounding her were only allowed to reply a diluted, “Yes Ma’am!” before hurrying back to their assigned location.

Such bloodcurdling accent… a bystander thought, cringing as he heard another shout from the girl. And to think she’s just twenty!

Haruno Sakura, known as the conspicuous, stern assistant of the younger prince’s best friend and chief of the maid partition in the West Wing, was a person of regulation, as no foul-mouthed creature could even bear a fourth of her anger. Her family was serving the Royal Uchihas before she was even born, yet she loathed them within her heart. Her reasons were the rudeness of the two princes, despite their attractive looks and built physique, which can’t really be denied even by the stern headmistress. The emerald gaze of hers could make any man swoon, but her strictness in the process made any suitor back away in their endeavor to subsist half of their life. Her unusual, cherry hair seemed to outgrow others as it reached down, top of her bump. Slender fingers were accompanied by soft looking, fragile hands, her skin emitting a glow that if was to be known by any outsider, it would seem like the pelt of an angel.

Fiend in disguise, as they would describe.

A poor lone soldier who seemed to be out the world, was standing indolently in the crook, practically thinking about something not correlated to the assembly that’s going to take place shortly that day. This day seemed a nice day to ask the mistress for a salary raise. I’m on my way proposing to my girlfriend..

This act of indifference seemed to annoy Sakura so much that she stomped her way to the sentinel heavily, her high heels clacking with much force that the people thought she could probably get the floor to break. “Hey!” Rosette locks went with the wind as she shook her head, “Hey you!” She hissed, frowning.

Said person narrowed his eyes against the glass windows; they were sinister, who dare disrupt my wonderland? “What?” the preceding utterance was spoken with cynicism, he wasn’t attentive to the actuality that it was the stringent headmistress since he was looking outside the gardens.

Bad move.

The indecorous inquiry angered the bad-tempered young woman, much to the chagrin of the people surrounding them, “Get back to work, fool!”

Startled out of his common sense, he turned to meet the conclusion of his living – his impatience and discourtesy forgotten. “I-it’s you, Madame! I-I’m sorry! I would r-return to work, Ma’am!”

“You better, since I would like to rip your balls now and then!” Faithfully ignoring the foul wording, it was evident that she was hopping mad. “You are all pathetic!”

“PUH-THE-TIK!”

So much for having to have a salary rise…

-

Atypical flora scents produced explicit fragments of hushed tranquility, while the elegant pine trees’ leaves scattered round about the whole three hectares of the Garden of Enchantment, located round about the Main Hall. It was named by the legendary, refined creature in his prince years, King Fugaku Uchiha since it was his position of consolation if ever the late King has vanished to battle.

The trumpet blown by the Representative made the raucous throng inside the hefty antechamber settle down. It was that time.

Some got to their seats, while various lingered standing. Whispers echoed throughout the younger princesses’ allotment. Two friends were in the corner, speaking to each other.

The black haired princess, Nicole, looked at her friend. “This is such a beautiful castle.”

“I agree,” hissed Sam; she was a red-haired. “I’ve heard that it cost billions!”

“Billions?! That’s so insane.”

“The older prince was engaged, have you known?”

“Yeah, he was too gorgeous, too bad.”

“The younger prince was just the same, they say. But he’s still single and trying to find the princess for him!”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“I would be that princess!”

Smirking, Sam waved her right hand in a no-no gesture. “You wish!”

Before they could keep on their bickering, the trumpet chimed strident.

Cough. “Ahem.”

In starting… “Ladies,” Aburame Shino, “and gentlemen.” A representative, bowed.

“Let’s welcome,” the murky blue-eyed Representative to the Chancellor announced formally and with carefulness, “the Royal, Uchiha family.”

Heavy applauds and signs of recognition was present in the halls – servants from the outside were trying to peak in where as the nobles took form their stern and respective poises to meeting the greatest family of Konoha – The Uchihas, who were known to be the most ungrateful group of their mention, courtesy of Haruno Sakura’s mind.

And true to their word, behind the tainted burgundy and scarlet curtains, stood four physiques with much influence a solitary character couldn’t perhaps envision.

The King -- His Majesty Uchiha Fugaku, dressed in his raven and pallid robe, held a bronze, four feet high scepter. In his prince days, he was an influential general who ruled the prime military power of the Kingdom. Described as bitter and uncaring on the outside, he’s a warm pile of royal goo on the inside, especially around his wife. His lips formed a thin line this time though; his authority was to be the most distinguished of the four. Diamonds of diverse range were present in his crown, his fine, tanned skin were glinting in the sun.

The audiences were flabbergasted to the pre-eminence that he carried.

This is Haruno Sakura’s first time to see the King up close, as well. “Wow.”

“Fair nobles and their first ladies, I, King Fugaku Uchiha, welcome you from the bottom of our hearts as we celebrate this grand festivity.” Stern and straight to the point. That’s the king for you.

On his right was the Queen.

The Queen -- Her Majesty Mikoto Uchiha -- held so much emotion from the people. A warrior of the late, she moved as graceful like the most prominent geisha in the land, however as stunning as a goddess. She was a woman, a mother, and most of all, a queen. She’s the epitome of beauty and elegance, as the inhabitants from other lands would say. Her posture is well-mannered and determined; though her eyes seemed to beam every time she glances on people around her. Her countenance was nicely pale, cheekbone gently cherry, and she waved to the crowd with her right hand.

“Thank you so much for being here.” Her voice was grateful and sincere. “I hope you’d enjoy the social gathering we’ve prepared for you!”

--

The longest I've ever written. :D

In Uselessness and Vigor

2008-05-07T08:56:00.000+08:00

________________________________________________________________

In Uselessness and Vigor
In a world consumed by corruption, one man faces the wrath of it all. The burdens of his past, engraved within his heart however are to be healed by one soul survivor, one woman who would dedicate her life to save him from himself. [AU SasuSaku]

Chapter One: The Distance
________________________________________________________________

I'll be here if you need me.
I won't let go.
Because you need me.

I walked deeply into the streets of the hollow Cloud country. The anger of the war and of nature clashed in sight as multitudes of massive debris enveloped my vision of the once glorious, invulnerable castle. My insides weakened heavily when my right shoe stepped on a blonde, pretty doll, tattered and dirty, but still beautiful. I wondered what could have happened if I was a little early, if I had the chance to warn the imperial palace of the demonic ritual that is to happen on Cloud's territory. Maybe the small child who had had this nice toy would have been looking at me with a smile, maybe her parents would silently give a thankful nod to me. Maybe.

I am now facing the unbearable reality. Obliging to the needs of my own village I must take stride and be calm, but seeing this scenery before me.. I almost do not want to continue the mission that was given to my care. Because in my mission of retrieving the ones that have survived, I would see the agony in the open eyes of the dead people, mocking me to the point of insanity. If only I was not engaged in conversation with the Society professor that long. If only I tried to conceal my curiosity in learning who I really am, maybe this could not have happened.. Maybe not all of them that I'm seeing now fled away from the face of the earth.

My selfishness got the best of me..

But all are could have beens, maybes, and what ifs.

--

Another now what. HAAHA.

I sounded evil.

September (SasuSaku moode)

2008-05-05T18:44:00.000+08:00

September - Spoken

I.
Years ago a future was laid before me
And I took the task and ran with it as far as I could go
I always wanted to be a part of something like this
You believed in me, and it's all I needed

Chorus.
Before I go, please know that I love you with all of my heart
My heart, my heart, is beating for you
I want you to know that I'll be thinking of you wherever I go

II.
Tonight I am standing with you
A chance to change the world as we know it
The feeling of lights upon me feels so perfect
You are here with me and it's all I need

Chorus.
Before I go, please know that I love you with all of my heart
My heart, my heart, is beating for you
I want you to know that I'll be thinking of you wherever I go

Bridge.
Before I knew you, before I saw your face
Life had its reasons for keeping love away
Spring turned to summer
And summer then turned to fall
Then came September
We began it all

--

It seemed all SasuSaku. We hope we hope we hope. :)

--

Short Vacation

2008-05-05T06:03:00.000+08:00

Woah.

You know, I'm really in the mood to express my utmost surprise when I saw my cousin that I haven't seen for a year.

And I happen to be very small with the height of 5'2 after meeting up with him. Holy 5'10 and just a year older than me!

I was agitated once again. LOL. Hahahaha, that kuya really has a lot of sleep I feel.

Well anyway, it's a nice day for him a few days ago. Since he got the most dreamt PSP, given to him by our lolo, who is the one who gave a PSP to me too just a year ago. My cousin entered the I-can't-speak-for-a-moment-so-stop-bothering-me mode though kasi masyado syang na-tense dahil dun sa presyo. At kilala nya ang tatay nya, nahihiya kasi yung father nya pag galing sa iba 'tas sobrang mahal ng regalo sa kanya. Tense na tense sya, nireready na nya ang kanyang self just in case the faithful scolding would come a few hours later. Thank the heavens nothing happened, probably because it's really the Lord's will for him to have a PSP. :D

I bonded with two of my cousins this weekend, though I was disappointed not to have my second cousins there who were supposed to be with us. But likewise, I'm happy for those two, since 'te Jed (it's really how we call her) got her laptop while kuya 'rome got his PSP. :D The blessings overflowed and we were overwhelmed!

Thank you God for a great grandfather, who is willing to share the blessings that he have received to his grandchildren!

Ang sarap din pala minsan ng tagalog, mas feel mo yung pagsusulat mo. Though I switch to speaking in English at times since sanay ako dun magsulat. HAHAHA.

Umiksi ng onti ang update, pero wala na tayong magagawa.

Days

2008-05-02T17:07:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes, and yes.

Viola, summer class' over! And I'm freer than an eagle! Bwahahaha!

I finished nine paces, missing just one Bible pace, which is because of the number of pages it consists. 60 pages in three days? Add the fact that every question takes five minutes to answer, and there are about 10 questions in one page? I think I went insane.

Hahahaha, but hey. I had fun reading the Bible. I can't help but wonder how great really the real God is. ^^

After taking the Pace Test and our monitor --Sir Jan-- announcing that I have passed, I went on crazy mode and happy mode. Err, yeah. I really did. I was like crying out loud and jumping (mentally, I guess) that time. A friend of mine offered to let me play on his PSP, in his memory card glowed the ever glorious Crisis Core, and I played for about from the start of lunch until the end of the day, because there was nothing left for me to do. Zack was really so fun to play with, he was jolly and very down to earth. It was nice being back to the RPG world, because all of the war games and the car games and the DMC came crashing down on me.

Anyway, I got to experience an adventurous thing with Jayne a few hours ago. LOL, it's kinda weird, since I have a feeling it's set into place. :))

After setting foot on the footbridge on our school, we bade farewell to Ate Sam, whose house is just near. Jayne's legs were hurting that time, and she was quite a bit hesitant on complaining but boy, her face shows a lot more. It seemed excruciating, well not exactly too much, but at least it's really..quite one heck of burden to have. So I decided to ride on a jeepney heading to Cogeo, then we're just gonna have to go down in Sta. Lucia, then finally, ride another jeepney (whichever destination is alright) and get ourselves lounging and happily playing at home. However, the fates seemed to have a down mood, and the vehicle we were riding broke its brakes. Thank God the driver felt it fast, and we were able to retrieve our payments, since we have paid the fare just a few minutes ago that time.

It's just fine, really. We were ready to go on another jeepney, but something weird occurred -- the transportation four-wheels reached their full capacity in letting a person go in, so we have no choice but to wait and wait and wait. I told Jayne that we could just get a ride straight to our village, but she announced that she needed the level up card load fast, or well, she needs it for certain reasons. xD So I looked at her and asked if she could still walk from that place to Sta Lucia. She nodded in my direction, so we went. Yet yet yet.. we know that all things work together for good, and that we could do nothing about it if it's the Lord's will.. but still.. it was really a time of urgency that a few droplets from the heavens strode its way on my arm. I was like, "Did I feel something, or it's just my pessimistic, stupid imagination?" So I ignored it for a few moments until there goes another one again. Then another, then another.

I was frantic.

Hahaha, yeah. I don't know. I may be a person who looks cool and collected always on those times, but that's not really the case. There with us was nothing but my bag and Jayne's bag with a professional camera given to her by her gracious father a few weeks ago and if we have it wet this early, we are in deep, deep, deep and disgraceful trouble. So I urged Jayne to use the jackets that we have retrieved from the seamstress, but she downrightedly said, "No." And I was agitated. LOL. Instead of letting it show though, and I wasn't really thinking right that time, for I was weary from all the walking and the squicking of my shoes and the disastrous gliding of the edge of my pants on the muddy ground. The rain then went through, and to make the long story short, we reached Sta. Lucia in full still, which I am grateful for.

After resting on the mall, we headed for home. And I was late for 5 hours most.

Too bad for me, and to think my Crisis Core game was almost within reach. But I don't know. I haven't had an adventure for quite a while and it's kinda refreshing.

Wow, good for me. My updates are getting longer! :D

Random Musing

2008-04-29T19:27:00.000+08:00

In all the fairness, this is so random.

--

He watched her movements softly, his ebony locks flowing with the wind as he gazed at her with intense onyx. She looked more mature than three months ago. Rosette strands breeze past the trees, her fists connecting in different varities of trees, training heavy that time. It was almost midnight, yet it seemed too early for her to decide stopping the chore she had been doing. He wondered practically how she had grown the past years after his betrayal.

She had had muscles in her arms, her chin was higher and face pale as snow. Her lips formed a thin line as she graced the woods in concentration, eyebrows furrowing in the process. Tight bandages loosened back and forth as she raised her legs, sending a tree flying a few hundred meters away. She was ready.

Lifting himself up, he muttered a simple apology, "Forgive me."

--

Lapse - Prologue

2008-04-29T19:16:00.000+08:00

A/N: The incomplete and unedited prologue of Lapse. :D I'm not good at writing calm scenes, because it's not really supposed to be my forte. But I tried my best. XD

Writing Lapse: There isn't. There wasn't. There wouldn't. Don't fall in love with me. [AU SasuSaku]

_____________________________________________________________________

Lapse by nhix-san
Prologue: Grasps
_____________________________________________________________________

If you can't risk having pain, suffering, and misunderstandings in life,
then don't waste your time being in love.
Because you are unworthy.

--

The wind caressed the clear, enchanting waters with serenity and peacefulness. Birds flew in the horizon, quietly humming their songs of praise to the One who created them. Fierce waves were left to fade into nothingness as it reached the shores to give place for the next. And the blue sky emitted a radiant glow, its ivory clouds compassing about with great shield to lessen the hot, hurting light to a warm one.

An old man, his crane standing steadily on his side, seemed to be lost in his thoughts as he looked softly on the waters that were stretched before him. In his thinking he found himself able to smile, regrets yet unreciprocated happiness present in his brain.

Some people had asked him about his habitual stay beside the shores but the old man would reply tiringly, albeit happily, "I love this place so much my day wouldn't be complete without visiting it just once." Described as a very trustworthy farmer in his teenage years, the grandpa has retired from all the hard work his job had to offer five years ago. So instead of being left without nothing to do, he is often seen in the children's place, telling historical and comical stories about his adventures on the farm.

He was beaming in the oblivion until he heard small, sandy footsteps stroding his way.

Three youngsters, aged around four to five years, waved at him as their tiny feet crossed its path to the grandpa with grins on their faces. They ran towards him as he silently exchanged happy glances with them. The old man spoke.

"What are you children doing here?" His voice was raspy and mature, yet with a gentle tone that urged the small crowd around him to spit out what they were to say. "Have I told you it's dangerous going nearby the sea?"

"But grandpa," argued one of the girls, Misaki, "You're here too, right?"

Looking to the direction of the sun, he softly answered, "I am waiting for somebody right here." Glancing back at the children, he murmured, "But anyway, what brings you, hmm?"

David, the youngest of them all, smiled sheepishly and said, "I..I really planned on not telling them, grandpa."

"Hmm," the old man suggested, "What is that?"

"...I can't help but tell them your story."

In this, the grandpa laughed, "I guess you're too young to keep stories from your friends, yeah?" Positioning himself to sitting, he urged the children to sit beside him too. "Well alright, since you're very excited about it, then I'll tell you now. But David, no interrupting, okay?"

David looked at him, beaming. "All right, all right. I could give you that."

--

.....Err, another now what. :))

Shake and Snappers Ch. 1

2008-04-27T03:50:00.000+08:00

---

The crooked, narrow way inside the lagoon proved a journey full of effort as Dante, in his red excuse of suit, gloriously strode his way deeper into it. Reeks of thousand-years old blood consumed the sides of the blockade, making it rather quite strange and disgusting even to a demon like Dante who has seen a few hundred in his life. Green submerged into a slimy, black substance ebbed its direction on the back of his boots, and he was getting annoyed with the squirting sound it created. Having decided to leave the place as fast as possible, dear protagonist struggled harder to run, desperately ignoring the voices that swept past the walls of the pathway.

---

Now what? I'm tired of writing the first chapter and that's all I've written as of now. Weird, eh? But anyway, that's an update. :D

Err, tagged?

2008-04-26T09:31:00.000+08:00

Matagal na ito, ngayon lang nagka-oras. Nako, masimulan na nga. Beware. Tagged by Jayne.

Share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you.
Then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.
– Each blogger must post these rules first.
– Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
– Bloggers who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
– At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Share 6 weird things/gross things that your readers don’t know about you.
Then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.
– Each blogger must post these rules first.
– Each blogger starts with six random facts/habits about themselves.
– Bloggers who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their six things and post these rules.
– At the end of your blog, you need to choose six people to get tagged and list their names.
– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

8 Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I fantasy about my crushes. Yes. XD

2. I hate boys who say "I love you" that easily on a girl, and does it so many times in a day. It's like a lie, too easy to say. Even though some girls may like it, I don't. I like guys who wants to say those words when they're most likely ready to give everything they've got.

3. They think I'm addicted to PC, but I'm not. It's most likely just a past time, when I've got nothing to do. And that means I don't have anything to do everyday. :))

4. I love the color red because it makes me white. Sad. :))

5. Chinese garters are love. And yes, I'm good at it too. Could reach the narrow 4th stage in first turn.

6. Jayne injured my right foot because of her mighty push and I didn't have a chance to walk for two weeks. I was like stumbling on the stairs after I walk home.

7. Seeing 10 years ago pictures make me smile, even though I don't bother taking pictures of myself that time. I'm not vain years ago, err, unlike now.

8. I love being clean, and I do not want any make up to blemish my face.

6 Gross or Weird Things that Your Readers Don't Know About You

1. My eyes go in different directions at times. And yes, one eye does different from the other.

2. I bite my nails when I was a kid. ARGH.

3. I could go long ways for my PS. Even trying to smash it with a screw driver several times just to make it work.

4. I am a person who sits whenever I bathe. Pathetic, eh? I'm too tired to stand up, ya know.

5. I am not affectionate, and I work things my own way.

6. I..gulp..do things with my barbie. And heaven's forbid, it scares me. :))

P.S.
I don't know if I could tag anymore people since..well, I'm out of contacts. Just copy paste this if you want ^^

P.P.S.
I am out of the world, so my grammar mistakes are evident. I'll be back in a few and edit this.

Fanlisting Galore. :D

2008-04-19T10:35:00.000+08:00

------------------------ Fanlistings ------------------------

It's always gonna be one top, so everytime I get myself to update, I'll delete the former and paste a new one. You got it? No? Well, that's fine. :D

A Story meant to be

2008-04-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

Update: I edited that prologue of mine (again, changing the title and its whole concept) without considering how would I expand the plot without ruining the characters Capcom had given for us to enjoy. Hmmm, I'll still try my best, and I hope to have it uploaded soon somewhere.

There's this movie.. I was really inspired after watching The Promise, a movie that was shown a couple of years ago here in our country that I didn't have time seeing. For me, it's definitely worth the almost 3 hours of crying and distraught drama. Well, some may not seem to like it, but I personally love the film together with its flaws.

It was kinda weird to have such a fast-paced story, since everything had happened in a blink of an eye..in my own twisted literary mind for that matter. I just can't believe in all ended in a flick of a finger without really digging into the backgrounds of the characters in it. I love the plot, really, but they could have done a better job in making it to life. However, despite this thing, all the while I kept on remembering my favorite couple all time -- Sasuke and Sakura -- that I decided to start a fiction with The Promise's plot with them as the main characters. :)

Here's the deal.

Lapse
There isn't. There wasn't. There wouldn't. Don't fall in love with me. [AU SasuSaku]
Romance/Tragedy
Chapters: maybe 25+
Words: Approximately around 60,000. 2,000-4,000 words each chapter.
Hope to be completed before: August 2009.

I have the first part of the outline here, and I didn't consider the grammar mistakes that I've done so I am ashamed to type it down here. Maybe next time, when it's all done. :)

withered floor.

2008-03-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

[A/N: A piece of writing that scared me, simply because it isn't the way I normally write. It's dark and has no plot, just probably the inspiration of DMC3 because I finished it a few hours ago. :D]

It was a challenged, introverted absurdity readying to face the wrath of consequences itself.

Blinded by the deafening scars and wounds that enveloped themselves around my pathetic conscience and guilt, I reached out for the azure mist covering the pathway. In my utmost surprise, a stroke of light illuminated itself as the summoned magic used to protect it slammed disgustingly near the upper bone of my shoulder, which caused immense pain that I brought myself back down to one knee.

Muttering a typical, whispered roar, my mind suddenly went hazy, and realized that drips of scarlet blood fell from the core of pain to the broken matter below me. I mentally told myself to get up, yet I was too weak and bruised to move.

That's because now, it seemed as if my body, now of injury and deformation after conquering battles with half-demons, looked abominable and dared not make any step further when I ordered it. I shook my head.

"In all the times," Half-heartedly trying to get myself up, I sighed. "Why now?"

A thick, nearby staff was at sight that time, and I used it to pick up myself from the ground. Looking up with much awaited anticipation, my eyes unexpectedly charged themselves into a widening act, reflection of burgundy and slimy onyx present in my terrified gaze.

Raging in their full power, uncompleted beasts and fiends, in their enormous images, plunged their souls on the Eater Bean, teeth chattering and fist clenching as it waved its power towards them. With the new-found extravagant force, said Portal overgrew itself to an identical size of the eclipsed red moon located above the heavens, shaking the ground of the entire human race.

My thoughts, now incoherent, silenced, and broken in their identity, came up to a final, delicate rumble when suddenly, out of pure curiosity and angered vengeance, I placed the crimson jewelry -- midpoint of desires -- into one of the eyes of the skull my sword handle is made of.

Unleashed beneath the normally plain design of the blade my mind held on to the years that passed, was the sword used by the pure-blooded, most powerful fiend that ever existed to seal the connection of worlds for the sake of their rivalry and valor.

The brilliance it graciously emitted created disruption on the whole malicious process of disgoverning the souls, causing the skull to envision a deceitful event of forfeit. The image practically gave itself away as worshippers of the Eater Bean directed the undivided attention it gave to the blackness of the sword, which is currently being clutched unwillingly by me.

They, outraged and under no control, gave away straight implications of vicious death as the creatures howled and neared themselves to the now sharpened, powerfully raised from its weakened state blade held by my right hand. They scrambled themselves into unwilling fortification, their desire to break the hindrance that chains them to their melancholy grave present in their aroused scarlet irises.

Hmmm. Of laughs and survey.

2008-03-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

This made me laugh, even though it's short.

KUNG ANG CRUSH MO AY:

1. nagtanggal ng t-shirt niya sa harap?
- errr. ACK! *nosebleed* (may naisip ako, ano ba yun)

2. may bagsak na grade?
- hmmmm. ayos lang, parehas naman kami!

3. naka-3 points sa basketball?
- oi, ang haneep!

4 . niyaya ka maging prom date
niya?
- edi oo agad! HAHAHA.

5. nadisgrasya?
- dadating ako to the rescue..

6. niyaya ka manood ng sine kasama niya?
- (is going frantic)

7. hinawakan kamay mo?
- smile ka lang, kunyari di mo pansin. XD

8. natamaan ka ng bola?
- errr. ayos lang yun.

9. nilibre ka?
- kung pagkain yun, hands down ako!

10. inakbayan ka?
- ..ano yun? pasimple? hahaha.

11. pinagtripan?
- tatawa lang..

12.kinuha id mo?
- aaah. edi bibigay.

13. nabunggo ka?
- tatanungin, "hindi ka magsosorry?" hahahaha.

14. inasar ka?
- "sige lang, magkakaroon ka rin ng panahon."

15. niyakap ka na lng?
- I'll die one happy fangirl.

16. sinabi sayo "i love you"?
- Ayoko ng sinasabihan ako nun, turn off yun. Err, typical kasi yun e. Gusto ko hindi. XD

17.nangutang sayo?
- kay Jayne to bagay e. Nevertheless, kailangan bayaran nya.

18. hindi binayaran utang niya?
- edi di ko na sya crush. hahaha.

19. pinasahan ka ng load kahit hindi mo kelangan?
- wag na yun, pagkain nalang. pero ayos na din, pasalamat na din.

20. tinawagan ka sa bahay?
- edi kilig hanggang sa buto.

21. nakausap mo hanggang madaling araw?
- Edi ayos, kasi masarap sya kausap kung ganun.

22. niyaya ka kung pwede ka maging gf/bf niya?
- Di ko pa time yun. Magaantay sya kung yun na talaga yun. Kung hindi naman, edi ayos lang din.

End. :)

tragedy and just enough angst.

2008-03-19T18:39:00.000+08:00

I turned out to be more dysfunctional with a writing brain, seriously.

I went insane a few hours ago, since I've read countless tragic and angsty SasuSaku fanfics nonstop, and in my desperation to escape the vile terrors of its wrath I had to eat and shower before calming down. It was one of the most terrible things that I wouldn't want repeated.

If you find this silly, I don't. Back away before I tie you to your fangirl's bedpost.

I'm evil, yes.

Hmmm. It's been a very long time since my last update. I was dead, therefore I was revived by a couple of push here and there, matched with strong phoenix downs and a twinkle of inspiration. My friends bugged me a lot about Multiply, and I told myself that I could give it at least a try.

So here I am. :D Nyahaha. Is this too good or too bad to be true? Nicole has come to dominate the entire strategic location of Multiply! Nyahahaha! Errr.

I am finally savoring the moments of truth -- summer vacation. Many things had happened and it left me restless, but I was glad to cope up with it. I barely even reached the summit, but I did. Kudos to myself for being such a constipated existence!

Well anyway, I wasn't able to get any honor this year.. and I know that it has been very disappointing since I'm one of the academic excellence awardees, and this is the time the streaks of honor died down. Sad to say, I sucked heavy in Geometry, one of the causes of my downfall.. since I don't like logic so much!

(though a personality test envisioned me as an engineer *is skeptical* can you believe that?)

I'm gonna end it here. I have a feeling I'm taking steps to doom..

Weird.

2007-10-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

I haven't been updating for a long time. Have I ever told you that I won the Speech Competition? Second Place?No..?Well, now I told you, and all my past bearings were worth it.God has given me strength.-Two weeks from now though, something would take place yet again.The National Student Convention in Iloilo.The biggest event of the year for the Highschool.-Everybody's busy. No one participating in the convention has nothing to do. We are totally pressured.But we'd make it through. I know we would.My writing and the Scripture Video were submitted already.-Jayne and I are planning [ she's so sure about it..while I am having doubts still..yet I'll do my best ] to join a specific contest held online for amateur video editors and it seemed as if a big chance for me since I'm probably one of the people in needing of money right now.I know the Lord would provide..and maybe this is the reason why He would want me to join.-So that's it? My mom's getting all grumpy here beside me. -LOL. ;P Stay cool, and you rock.

Flings..and more.

2007-09-14T18:42:00.000+08:00

I have a lot of things to share. Probably one of those is the latest.

...The school is having a dengue outbreak.

I don't know, since I'm not present at school this day (I'm sick -gulps-).

Some sources (naka namang etchas yan) told me that almost 10 people went home after giving up the hope of trying to do pacework and walking around and scoring and taking the test and stuff like that. I wasn't there to witness anything at all, and for this simple reason, I wished I was there.

I have been through lots of stress...yet I know I can do this for good. I'm still planning out and scheduling everything that needs to be scheduled, particularly my events in the upcoming NSC in October, which really is the whole thrill of the school year, yet for me.. pacework is enough thrill. LOL.

I haven't decided anything to sing yet for the 'female solo' event in music. I haven't had anything to memorize on my poetry recitation yet, my pastel arts is not even halfway through the finish line and the convention's on the go in three weeks time! We haven't had a shoot for the scripture video, which after that I would be in a weird mood of the day, since I'll be the one to edit it, and it's my first time doing so. -gulps-

But hey, I've got good news. I've finished my writing which is dued on Friday! Isn't that great? LOL.

Of course I need to finish that, it's due in two days time. :P Yet anyways..

..I'm having a trackload of unnecessary problems.. so I'm gonna leave them off. :P

Embarassed To Be Seen

2006-03-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

Embarassed To Be Seen

Um... gosh. I can't believe that nakasama ko si crush ko dati sa jeep. Hehe.. wala lang... kinabahan ako...at sobrang nahiya. Kasi... diba iniiwasan ako nun..? Pero.. nahiya den yata.

Ano pa ba? Di na yata ako papasok sa school. Kaso.. gusto ni Jamie na pumasok ako sa Monday para maglaro ng ice-ice-water. Hay, ang bongartz. Pero hayaan nyo na..

Walang nangyari ngayon. Nagkita na ang magkamukhang si Jamie at Jayne. Adik. Di muna ako masyadong magkekwento. Dito pa sila.. walang privacy eh.. Ngek. :)

Sige po.. bye na muna.. Sorry for the not-so-long update..

And please read our story at FanFiction.net.

Sincerely,

-nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

Accomplishments and Problems

2006-03-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

Accomplishments and Problems.

Rarrr! Yehey! Yihee! Aztig! Waaa! Nakapasa ako sa biology test ko! Aztig. Ang dali lang pala... kala ko napakahirap... hehe... ang yabang ko.. hehe.. jowk lang.. pero aztig mga pare.. :)

Pasensya na pala at di na ako masyadong naguupdate.. minsan kasi... wala akong makwento.. nakakahiya.. wala akong masabi... pero anyway.. ngayon.. kahit konti... meron.

First of all, nagkasakit nga pala ako nung Monday kaya hindi ako nakapagupdate. Medyo boring ang araw na yun... wala akong masabi.

Kahapon naman... nalimutan ko! Bofols... hehe.. kasi naman si Jayne nagkwento tungkol kay ... at ... at ... ...hehe... baka patayin ako kung i-reveal ko ang secrets nya. Grabe si Jayne kahapon. Adik. Ang daming kinwento. Ininvite pa ako sa play[yata] nila sa school. [Play ba yun? Di ko na maalala... basta.] Hay naku..

Anyway, tungkol naman sa nangyari ngayon... wala naman masyadong nangyari. Nakalabas kami nang maaga ngayon kasi finish na kami ng requirements. Pumunta kami sa chapel area at para kaming sira dun.. naglalaro ng ice, ice water[mga bata?], tinitignan kung pwede magmagic gamit ang video sa cell phone ni Jamie, tapos.. umm... umutang pa ako ng 32 para sa isang chuckie at tofiluk. Mahal kasi sa canteen eh..

Ano pa ba? Si Jerry...kwento ng kwento. nababaliw.. kung ano-ano ang pinagsasabi.... si Kristine nga eh parang maririndi na sa sobrang dami ng sinasabi. Hehe...

And... di na ako iniiwasan ng crush ko dati..[ewan ko lang ha... siguro.. he noticed na di ko na sya crush..]kaya.. ngayon...crush ko siya ulet[ha?].. hehe... hindi.. jowk lang... may crush na akong iba.. wag nyo nang tanungin kong sino. Matu-turn-off lang kayo. hehe..

So... yun. Grabe. Di na yata ako papasok sa Monday. Hay... sa wakas. hehe.. ay! oo nga pala... yung sa speech... buhuhu.. may kailangan pa kasi kaming i-recite kaya lang... walang actions... grabe.. sana wag nang magpagawa ng actions.. kasi... mahirap kaya! Lalo na kung ang manonood eh ang first year at grade7[may grade 7 po kasi sa school namen]... hehe.. well anyway... buti at humahaba na ulet ang updates ko. I'm proud of it..

Special Notice kay Ate Shane: Thanks for visiting this blog! I really appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

And um... may nangyayari sa blog ko ngayon... I'm trying to fix it.. so... please understand. Parang may pumasok yatang virus eh... pero.. don't worry... di sya kumakalat.. sa blog ko lang... pero... magloloko ang internet kung pipindot ka ng links.

Um.. wag po kayong magoopen ng ibang windows pag-inoopen ang blog ko.. kasi po... baka may lumabas na 'Internet explorer needs to close..blah blah blah..wanna send a notice about the problem...blah blah..' at pagkatapos nyong pindutin yung 'don't send' baka mawala ren kung ibang windows... please understand. pinipilit ko pong ayusin kaso... medyo bka.. matagalan pa. pero wag kayong matakot. okay lang po eto. baka nga computer ko lang ang may sira kasi si Ate Shane di naman nagrereklamo. Kung may nangyaring ganyan... pakisabi nalang po saken..

So yun lang po... God bless na lang and have a good day..

With Love,
- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

P.S.
[Humahaba na naman ang updates ko ah! That's good news for me... bad news for you... dami kang babasahin.. buhuhu..]

Biology is testing me

2006-03-12T16:28:00.000+08:00

Biology is testing me.

Gosh...may test na naman ako. Sa bio pa. Waaa.... Thank God malapit na ang bakasyon...pinagtsatsagaan ko lang...kung hindi, hay... patay na. Hehe...

We went to church ngayon na wala si Papa.. Pumunta kasi syang Singapore. Oks lang naman kasi ang nagturo si Tito Bhoy.

Also...I watched 'The Little Mermaid' kanina.. haha.. nakakatawa. ang tanda ko na para dun.. Pero..talagang nalimutan ko na ang mga nangyari dun... wala akong maalala. As in...wala. hehe..

Anyway, pumunta si Jayne kahapon sa bahay ng mga 7. Kala ko di na pupunta yung 'bongartz' na yun eh... hehe.. joke lang..

Mafifinishhhhhhh naaaa akkoooo saaaa requirementttssss! Yaaaaaaay! Grabe... ang saya ng feeling ng tapos na. Sana pumasa ako sa biology test ko... People! Please pray for me.

Hay... birthday pala ng lolo kong namatay last year nung March 10. I'm so... lonely. Di ko man lang naalala. Nakakainis. Sana... oke lang ang lola ko...

well, ano pa kaya pwedeng sabihin? Paunti na ng paunti ang updates ko ah... nauubusan na siguro ako ng mga sasabihin. Sige... sandali lang... iisip lang ako..

Ay! Oo nga pala... nagiba na ako ng blogskin! Kasi naman... parang di ko masyadong feel ang ff8 blogskin. But... I really love FF8. Kaya sa mga FF8 lovers.... Don't be offended... kasi.. ewan. hehe...

Please visit my homepage at matmice. wala akong magawa the past few days kaya.. nag-try akong gumawa ng homepage... :)

http://www.matmice.com/home/nix230

Sige po... napahaba ko na tong update ko.. Hehe..

Bye!

Sincerely,

- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

[In fairness, ang update ko ngayon ay halos puro 2 sentences lang bawat paragraph... :) Yung iba kasi...sentence fragment..:) ]

Fierce Feelings

2006-03-10T17:29:00.000+08:00

Fierce Feelings

Hay... kawawa naman ang blog ko. Walang may interes na pumunta hay... anyway, sorry to myself that I didn't update kahapon. Wala kasi akong time...pero ngayon... meron na! Bwahahaha!

Um... many happened kahapon. May bago na akong crush! Yes, ang bilis kong magbago noh? Eh kasi naman....secret! Kinausap pa ako kahapon. Aztig. Yun talaga ang crush...kinakausap mo. Hehe...
Ngayon naman... may 3on3 game kanina... aztig ang yellow team! Go Yellow! Aztig. Team kasi namin yun. Kahit na may isang talo kami... nanalo naman den kami ng isa. First day pa lang yun... Matatalo namin ang blue! Haha! Matatalo namin yun... sana. Lakas nung team eh...

Ano pa ba? Ah... oo nga pala..I took the second-to-the-last na test sa English. Grabe... ang taas ng grade ko... 96%! Woohoo!!! Thank God talaga.

Wag kayong maingay... hehe... anyway, to be honest with all of those who are visiting this blog[so NUMEROUS! :) ]may pagasa akong makuha ang christian character award. Kasi mabait ako[kapal]. Tahimik[kapal na naman]. At walang late at absent[my inner mind agrees with that]. Hehe... joke lang. Pero promise... parang meron.. Thank God at He gave me a chance ulit para makuha yun. Yung award lang na yun ang trophy eh.. kaya... I'm very... happy if makuha ko man yun. Kung hindi naman... God has a more beautiful plan than me having a trophy. Hay... hope that I spelled 'trophy' right. Hehe..

Malapit na ang recognition! And ang acceleration! wahaha! Aztig. Grabe... high school na ako next school year. Ambilis grabe! Apr1 yun kaya... i just hope that you include me in your prayers.

I will finish my requirements sa lahat on Monday!!Pag-pray nyo ako... may biology test na naman... buhuhuh... ang hirap. Pero I know that God will help me.

Sa recog... kakanta ang National & Junior Ensemble. Meaning... kasama ako. Hay... ang hirap kayang mag-perform sa stage.. lalo na pag-andayan ang parents mo. hehe.. but... oke lang yun.. So yun.. :)

And tungkol ulit dun sa game... ka-team ko yung dati kong crush... in fairness, mas gwapo pala yun pag hindi naka-uniform. Hehe... aztig. Aztig ang kagwapuhan non... promise! Hehe.... pero... di ko na yun crush... I have my reasons... only my close friends know that... Di ko na ilalantad. Baka... may mangyari pa.

Hay....ano pa ulet? Ay... oo nga pala... those who are visiting this for the sake of visiting na hindi ko kilala... or has no connection with my close friends... um... kung may friendster account kayo... Add nyo ko..

so_numb23@yahoo.com

Thank You So Much!

Much Love,

- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept oin the closet +

Miraculously Surviving Life

2006-03-08T18:53:00.000+08:00

I'm Miraculously Surviving This Life

New Crush and Friend. No Visit. First Place. Great Novelization of FF8. Some life I have ayt?

I'm 'basted'. Haha...yes. Definitely, basted. Bakit kaya? kasi naman si Kuya ~t00t~...binasted na ako... iniiwasan na ako.. Kaya... may iba nakong crush.. si -t00t-.. hehe...

I'm so lonely.. wala pang bumibisita sa blog kong 'to. Ang bongartz... hay naku.

Anyway, I got a new friend at Friendster. Hay.... thank God mabait pa.. aztig. I like her[her po.. not him... hehe]. Lara is the name. Di ko pa siya namimeet in person pero sya pinakagusto kong di ko kakilala kasi parehas kaming adik sa FF. hehe..

Hay... do you know that.... first place ako sa singing! Yay! As in... first place. Napasigaw nga ako ng konti eh..ay marami pala.... hehe... grabe. aztig. na-finish ko naren ALL of my requirements sa Arts ko. Aztig na naman... hehehe...

Ano pa ba? Um.... nakausap ko si Kristine kani-kanina lang... nagalit sa kapatid nya because of one thing... gusto nyo i-kwento ko? Sige... -t00t- -t00t- -t00t-... gets? Hehe... pasensya na... di pwedeng sabihin. Im dead. hehe ulet... :)

I saw a novelization of FF8 at FanFiction.net. It is made by Peptuck, one of my favorite authors today. Aztig talaga. Ang title nito ay... 'The Gunblade Saga'. Aztig. Yun ang da 'best novel na nabasa sa buong buhay ko. Grabe... kung kayo mahilig magbasa ng mga nobela... dun kayo pumunta sa mga gawa ni 'Peptuck'. and also... kung magrereview kayo sa stories nya... ayaw nya ng maiikisi na reviews tulad ng 'i love it!', o kaya...'nic, plz updte.' kaya sana wag kayong maglagay ng ganon... Go to his profile at FanFiction.net to learn about him..

http://www.fanfiction.net/~peptuck

Yun lang po.. hope that I can update mga may 'kwentang' stories about my life here at this wonderful bloggy I made just for everyone to see... hehe...

- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

Unfathomable Nervousness

2006-03-07T19:41:00.000+08:00

Unfathomable Nervousness

Um... another update.. Hehe... well, I kinda am nervous today because tomorrow is the singing competition. Gosh, I can't relax a bit. Please pray for me. Talagang kabang-kaba ako. Hay... grabe..

In school nga pala, around 2:30 in the afternoon, si Kristine, best friend ko, hinulog ni kuya John sa upuan. Hay... kakatakot kaya si Kristine. Parang iiyak. Di naman pala. Nagmomoments lang. Nainis ako ng konti. hehe... joke lang.. baka patayin ako ni Kristine.

Pasensya na po at hindi ako nagudate kahapon. Kasi naman... si Jayne... inaantay si ........... na magonline di naman pala magoonline. Bad talaga yun. Hay... hayaan na natin... baka masapak ako ni Jayne kung may sasabihin pa ako.

Kanina naman... I created a simple homepage at MatMice. To be honest sa lahat... dun lang ako nagsabi ng marami tungkol sa sarili ko. hehe... [lagi naman akong masabi tungkol sa sarili ko.. paulet-ulet naman. :)]Click nyo nalang si quistis dun sa top-right ng screen.

So.. yun po muna. pasensya na po ulet sa short update. kinakapos na ako ng oras.

- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

Smirking Relative...Cloud Strife

2006-03-05T17:54:00.000+08:00

Smirking Relative...Cloud Strife

Hello po sa lahat! Haha.... ako lang yata ang tumitingin nito eh...hehe... hayaan mo na. hay... pasenya na po at wala akong update kahapon. Nabura ko po kasi bigla... nakakapagod ulitin. Pero... hayaan nyo na... kasi dito ko nalang ilalagay. Hay.... grabe... ang saya kahapon! Pumunta sina Inah at nakapaglaro kami ng FF7. Aztig grabe. Hehe... first time ko yun. Pumunta den si Jayne and nagkwento sya tungkol sa kanyang loves. [peace jayne! peace..] Wala naman nangyaring maganda masyado kanina... pumunta lang kami sa church. :)

Grabe... may nangyari ngayon-ngayon lang. Pinanood ko yung Advent kanina. And guess what. This is the first time I saw Cloud smirking sa isang picture....As in... smirking. S.M.I.R.K.!! Ganto kasi yun... Si Cloud...ginugulo yata niya si Denzel kaya nakasmirk sya. While si Denzel nakataas yung kamay. Gusto nyo ng screenshot? Eto... just click below..

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f294/nix230/adiksila.jpg

Anyway... ang cute ni Cloud. Aztig. Nainlove ulet ako sa kanya. Rarr... kainis. Hehe... pasensya na dahil di masyadong malinaw yung pic. I just captured it eh. Ang cute kasi. Notice nyo nalang yung smirk... alam ko may smirk eh... kasi ba't nakataas ang kamay ni Denzel? For nothing? I don't think so. Tignan nyong mabuti ha! Sige po yun lang.

Birthday ng aking cute na cute na pinsan na si Carl ngayon... habang b-day naman ng dad ko kahapon... habang b-day ni Maxelle at Ate Aimee nung Friday. Aztig. Kaya nga walang update. Busy kasi eh... pasensya na po.

Also... we updated the fifth chapter of 'Haunted by the Past.' Please check it out at FanFiction.net if you have time.

So... that's it. Hope this will cover up sa kasalanan ko sa hindi paguupdate. [Hehe... I know naman na walang nagagalit dahil wala namang paki ang mga tao sa blog ko... :(]
God bless nalang sa inyo at pagpray nyo po ang competition ko sa Wednesday.

With Love,
- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

[PASENSYA NA PO SA AKING BAD ENGLISH AND TAGALOG SA MGA UPDATES KO. I'M A LAME WRITER. HEHE...]

Wretched Sentiments

2006-03-03T19:51:00.000+08:00

Wretched Sentiments

Alright... this is a very depressing day. Bakit kaya? Kasi....iniiwasan ako ng crush ko dati... hay... ang hirap pala ng iniiwasan noh? Naku naman... siguro... nahihiya na siya. Kaya... parang na-turn-off ako.. kaya ngayon, di ko na siya crush. Well, kainis naman kasi yung mga nagsabi na crush ko siya. masasama sila. di ba nila alam na... i want privacy naman... sa mga best friend at close friend ko lang sinasabi crush ko. pero ngayon... lahat na yata sila alam. hay nako... pero... now.. nalagpasan ko na ang depression.. buti nalang... hehe..

bukod dun.. meron din akong gusto i-kwento... alam nyo ba... may crush na best friend ko... sa wakas!!!! Grabe yun... ayaw pang sabihin, crush den naman pala.. yihee.. :)

Wala na akong masabi. Bakit kaya? Ewan ko. Ba't ako tinatanong mo? Hehe...

Ay... meron palang pwedeng sabihin pa... sila ate samantha kanina... may nakitang sobrang 'gwapo'.. yun pala... parent! haha... di kami sigurado.. pero... mukhang parent na! aztig nga ehh..... hehe...

Ano pa kaya? Well... pasensya na po sa mga nabitin dun sa story namin... kasi po... um... di pa kami nagkikita ng pards ko. pasensya na po talaga. i can't update it... kasi... sya yung author and i'm just an... editor. Hay... pasensya na...
So... ito nga pala ang pinakamaiksi kong update... paiksi yata ng paiksi... wala na kasi akong makwento. Friday na kasi eh... So... yun na yun... bye na!

- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

Again, please visit our account at FanFiction.net and review... thanks! :)

Happiness of Today

2006-03-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

Happiness of Today

Nothing really happened this day. Well, kinabahan ako kahapon ng magkalindol! Waaa.. grabe, hay, para akong baliw. Anyway, tulad nga ng sinabi ko.. wala talagang nangyari special ngayon. But... gusto ko sanang magshare ng konti today... Hay, I finished my arts today! Yihaaa! Thank God. Grabe... dalawa yun ha! hehe... and also, ang galing ko! nagawa ko yung video ng FF7ac with the song Incomplete by Backstreet Boys. Ang title nun ay 'Haunted by the Past', which is the title of our story sa fanfiction.net na FF8. Bagay na bagay pala title na 'Incomplete' at 'Haunted by the Past' kay Cloud. Aztig. Talagang it suites him well. With the lyrics... 'I tried.. to go on like I never knew you..' and 'I'm awake...but my world is half asleep..' tapos 'I pray...for this heart to be unbroken... but without you all I'm going to be is... incomplete.' Oh diba? Isipin mo si Cloud yan. Maiimagine mo. Kung gusto nyo mapanood ang video na ginawa ko... well, punta kayo sa bahay! haha... hindi kasi pwede i-save sa youtube.com dahil nasisira yung video. Super-duper-mega-bummer talaga, oo.

Anyway, as of now... eto ang pinakamaikising update ko. wala naman kasing nangyari... ay! meron pala.. hehe... alam nyo ba kinausap kami ni Jerry[classmate ko]. Grabe.. para palang may tuliling yun. haha.. oo. para talagang may tuliling. [para lang yata kay Kristine kaya nakipag-usap samin yun eh... hehe.. peace tayo Jerry! Kung nagbabasa ka man.] And... grabe.. nagkakadevelopan na si Michael at Jamie[naks.]. 'friends' na sila ngayon. tinanong ko nga siya eh... 'friends lang?' ang sagot nya..'syempre naman!'.. kala ko kasi nun... iba na. haha! jowk only pipz. peace with jams and mike! Nakita ko ren kanina crush ko..[yihee] pero di nako aasa pa sa kanya.. alam ko naman iba gusto nun eh.. broken-hearted ako ngayun... buhuhu..[grabe, broken-hearted si Nix? Bago yun ah.. haha!!] Jowk only.. may kapalit na nga yung crush ko dati... dati crush ko si kuya.. .... hehe... kilala mo na kung sino ka... pero ngayun... kuya... ... na ako. haha!

Naadik nanaman ako sa Final Fantasy VII Advent Children. Naazitigan kasi ako dun sa love-triangle in Cloud, Tifa, and Aeris.[kahit na dead na si Aeris...aztig paren... :)] Hay... nabalik ang kaadikan ko dun dahil sa isang video. As in.... ISANG VIDEO! grabe... aztig yung video na yun... Incomplete den yung song... pero.. mas malupet yung gwa niya kaysa saken.. pero... ANG GALING TALAGA! DI AKO MAKAPANIWALA. hehe.. grabe.. aztig. aztig. aztiG!!! WEEEEEEEEEE.....
So... yun muna. pasensya na di ako masayadong nakakwento today. Kasi naman... may literature test pa ako tom...at kahit isa di pa ako nakakareview. di ko pa nagagalaw. bad ba? hindi bad. SOBRANG bad. hehe... so... again..that's it. More stories to come.. pero next time nalang..bye!

- nix230

P.S.

Please visit the [AU Squinoa] story: 'Haunted by the Past' at fanfiction.net. Just go to our profile and you'll see it there below. And please... leave reviews....:P
http://www.fanfiction.net/~seraphsyrinx

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

Complicated Thoughts Succeeded

2006-02-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

Complicated Thoughts Succeeded

BlogOwnerNote: I will be using a little mild language here. Please do not be offended just in case you don't want the bad words I'll be putting here. DOn't worry, 'cause I will not be using the soooooo very bad words. Only mild bad words. I am so sorry. I just have the 'trippings' today. Also, this is written in bad english. I'm a bad english speaker. So don't flame me if you are not satisfied with my writing. You have been FOREWARNED! [Also, there is a very bongartz poem here.. please understand that I only wrote it...15 minutes.]

~~~~~~~~~~~

This is so damn complicated. Haha! Yes, so very damn complicated.

Why complicated?

THE SEVEN COMPLICATED PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES OF MINE THIS WEEK AND NEXT WEEK[so very long title... hope you don't get bored.]

Number One: Jayne is using our laptop and I am using her laptop. Isn't it complicated?

Number Two: I don't think I can check my friendster with this no connection laptop. So... I ended up here, writing my complicated thoughts.

Number Three: It's Valentines. Yes, it's valentines. But no one has given me a gift. Hah! Yes, no one. Can you believe that? This beautiful girl has received 0 gift. As in, Z.E.R.O.! well, I found out 3 hours ago that my admirer [teehee! =) ] has left his gift at his house! What a big idiot. [well, um.... i kinda have the 'trips' today so please don't be offended with the words I'll be using. YOu have been forewarned.

Number Four: COmplicated. Yes, very. Why? It's because the so very bongartz persons is allowed to go to the three-day-camp. Yeah. They ARE ALLOWED! But us? The dearest babies[what they call us] is not allowed because of our age. Our freaking age! haha! yes. The age "12" is not allowed. But, I'm kinda ok now. So don't worry. That was my first thought when they announced that only age "13" students will be allowed.

Number Five: It's the music competition next week and I am not practicing yet. I hope I'll start practicing, or else! I'm so very DOOMED!

Number Six: I haven't recited my scripture memory verse! Ha! Yes, I'm so bano. SO very bano.

Number Seven: My biology test will be starting next week. Wahh! I can't. It is so very hard. Not very hard. very, very, VERY HARD! Oh my. Hope God will help me there. Also on the competitions.

/0/0/0/

Well, that is the seven complications of mine. Want some dramatic description of my problems? Read below..

The sky is blue
Seven is through
The complications
And my problamons...[problems]

My problems rose
And I can't even pose
Haha...stupid me.
So very me.

Watching as the stars turn blue
They are blue, I know it's true
My imaginations
SO very mild
My interrogations
SO very wild

[I made that in 5 min... :)]

-)_)_)_)_)

[wala akong magawa eh. So I wrote that. Pati nga ako eh hindi maintindihan yan.]

- nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +

Serious Start

2006-02-27T13:31:00.000+08:00

Serious Start

Hello po sa lahat. Well, first of all... gusto ko po ipalam sa inyo na ang first blog ko po dito sa blogger ay binura na. Di po kasi ako nagandahan na eh, at minsan, dahil din sa monitor problems. Kaya, I tried using a simple[but can fit in all monitors]skin. Ito po ay napakasimple, pero... nagustuhan ko po sya. Kaya... I decided na eto na lang. So... um.. yun. This is my introduction for my new blog. Hope that I can settle here nalang. Sana di na ko magbago pa ng blog. Hay, pag-pray nyo nalang. Well anyway, if you want me to tell a little bit of story of my life...well, I'll just start with this.

Wala namang nangyaring special for the past couple of months. Pero... merong... SOBRANG special. haha... kala nyo kung ano noh? um... last February 7-10 ay nagcompete ako sa isang convention na ginanap sa Paranaque. Ako'y nagcompete sa mga events na ito: music female solo, music female duet, music female trio, music female quartet, at ensemble... samahan mo pa ng napakahirap na PACE bowl. Hay nako, mababaliw ka. Ang dami talagang kung anu-ano before that 4-day-affair. Pero... happy naren ako dahil I won 4 medals! Yay! Out of 6 na sinalihan ko... 4 ang may medal. O diba? Ayos na yun.

Grabe talaga nung una, parang mamatay ako sa kaba. As in. Lalong-lalo na yung sa Female Solo. Para na nga akong mababaliw eh. Grabe... di ko mapaliwanag ang feeling. Well, nung nakakanta na ako, I realized that humingi ka lang ng tulong ni Lord at siguradong... magagawa mo. Hindi naman ako nakasama sa Top 6, ako'y masaya naren.

Ang Female Duet, Trio, at Quartet naman ay nakasali sa Top 6! Waa! I really didn't expect na makakasali kami dun sa mga events na yun. Hay, ang saya. Ang Female Duet, Sixth Place, Habang ang Female Trio at Quartet ay third.

And.... ito pa ang malupet. Ang Junior Ensemble ng JFA this year ang nakakuha ng pinakamataas na ranking sa buong history ng JFA, National man o Junior. Second Place kami! Waa! Grabe, as in. SECOND place. Ang saya-saya na namin nun. Well, kasabay ng sayang ito ang medyo lungkot sapagkat kami ay malapit na sa first. Sayang... pero... at least, alam ko naman that God planned that. Kaya masaya na din kami.

So... yun lang ang events na nangyari last month. Hay, wala kasi akong magawa kaya naiisipan kong magkwento nalang.

-nix230

+ some skeletons are best kept in the closet +